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There’s going to be an obnoxious animated video updating us on the wallpapered operational successes around the enterprise.
Then there will be a few je-ks in a circle about how Chevron has “made strides” to some goal like Engine or CNE.
He will reassure us that Chevron has a “strong portfolio.” What he really means is that his stock portfolio is strong.
Then Wirth will shift poses, look at a different camera, make this face :|, and say in a stern tone, “however we fell short in 2024 in these key areas…” and talk about how Chevron didn’t hit milestones that we have no control over (but his team does have all the agency to control).
He’ll say one fatality is one too many.
Then he’ll say reassuringly, “I know we’re all anxious about the future” (as if he is part of the general population, not the one steering this car off the cliff). He’ll elaborate that in the coming month we will learn about the reorganization timing and it will have some asinine name like Project Momentum, Next Chapter, Thrive, or Chevron Elevate.
Then he will lie to us and say “we’re all in this together” or “we’re better together” even though 1/3 of us will be unemployed by the end of the year.
He will tell us to use employee services and take care of ourselves.