@dx+1jkf42rgy
and in the end, the RTE's will scrum the ENGINE until the Engine has their own RTE's...
keep in mind there are other companies that use Agile so you may not avoid it at another company. The difference will be how Chevron "chevronized" it into a score card using the DPM dashboard of meaningless minutia.
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It's a shame that the OP is just trolling you and is not actually a RTE and all of your comments are as meaningful as you talking to yourselves alone as the OP laughs.
Between the scrum masters, product owners, product line managers and release train engineers, I have never been so demoralised and uninspired at work. That’s not hyperbole, that’s straight fact.
A whole group of people who not only have never performed the work my team does, but also don’t have any qualifications or experience in our field, telling us precisely how we should work and filling our days with meaningless process, but also have the shameless audacity (and complete lack of self awareness) to question why we don’t have higher delivery velocity.
I’ve spent the past week crafting meaningless user stories for myself to read, not because they’re going to help me deliver better, but because we actually use agile for in in our team is as a micromanaging work tracking process.
Between the four days a week of daily standups, the written user stories, the sprint and PI demos, and PI planning — there should be no doubt what I’m working on. Now, if only all these people actually understood what it is I do.
Meanwhile, the product owner is constantly trying to influence what we work on, how much time we spend on it, and making sure we deliver a “minimum functional objective” when they don’t understand the technical details, they’ve never spoken to the people who will be using the thing we are designing, and they don’t understand what’s involved in building it.
Over the past few years we’ve lost about 60% of our team to other functions through PDCs, and agile has been a huge part of the reason they’ve wanted to get out of our team and go somewhere they can deliver actual work. It’s soul destroying.
But good news: all will be saved! Agile flow metrics are now part of our scorecard and performance goals… if only someone had realised that the flow metrics we are now being measured on can be so easily gamed as to be utterly meaningless.
If I get laid off, the thought of never having to be involved with agile in this company again is comforting. The thought of being fortunate enough to stay but having to endure more of the same is bittersweet. But because all the agile people are the ones with management visibility, claiming responsibility for every success, I bet they will be the ones that survive, and they doers and thinkers will be left standing.
Some people think Scrum Masters and RTEs are like the office vampires of Agile—su-king the life out of the team with endless meetings and "process improvements" that never seem to improve anything. Instead of helping, they sometimes feel like they're just there to make sure we follow every step of a ritual while the real work gets delayed. If Agile is supposed to be about speed and flexibility, why does it feel like these guys are just adding paperwork to the mix? But hey, if done right, they are supposed to be the ones clearing the obstacles and making the process smoother. In reality, though, it can feel like they’re just another layer of bureaucracy dressed in comfy Agile lingo.
You don’t deserve the title of engineer. Please quit.
Please deposit your badge at the front desk as you leave the building.
RTE, POs, fu-k*n all just good for nothing sc-m!
Oh, the RTE (Release Train Engineer) is truly the unsung hero of the development team. They don't do anything, per se—because, of course, their time is far too valuable for such mundane tasks like coding, testing, or actually contributing to the project. Instead, they spend their days wielding the power of delegation, effortlessly telling developers what to do while offering nothing but a steady stream of motivational words and guidance. It’s remarkable how they manage to keep everything running smoothly by simply bossing around everyone and making sure that no one forgets who’s in charge. It’s almost as if their primary job is to make sure the developers are busy and stressed while they get to sit back and marvel at their own "leadership." Truly inspiring!
Wtf do you do here? Serious question, agile is the funniest / saddest thing I’ve ever experienced at large companies. Please tell me you at least acknowledge the grift and that you have zero real skills.
The entire problem with this company is all the people who are collecting paychecks to "sit around and chill".
Do you really need to know any more or are you all that obtuse?
Best part of my job is every 3 months I schedule "PI" planning sessions and rest of the time I just get to chill.
RTE is an Agile role where you do nothing but su-k the life out of people.
What’s a RTE
What's the best part of your job, and are you satisfied in it?