Smithers: Commander Vance all main offices and satellite offices have been notified via text message of the upcoming winter storm.
Commander Vance: Good job Smithers, please read me the message that was sent out.
Smithers: ConocoPhillips has been closely monitoring the winter storm and has determined that our Midland, Houston, Dallas, Austin, Santa Fe and Artesia West offices will be closed on Monday, February 15. Please plan to work from home. As always, stay connected with your supervisor about your situation. We will continue to monitor the weather and will provide an update on Tuesday's office status as soon as a decision is made.
Commander Vance: Excellent, Smithers so to confirm this went out to all Conoco offices in the lower 48?
Smithers: All offices were noticed except Alaska and starts to speak in a very quiet voice, almost a whisper and Bartlesville.
Commander Vance: slams fist on desk SMITHERS did you say Bartlesville!
Smithers: Puts head down and sheepishly says yes
Commander Vance: I told you to shut down that office five years ago. What the hell happened?
Smithers: We tried, we tried so hard. We stopped paying them, we locked the doors. However they won’t stop working. They found a way in the through the basement window and they just show up.
Commander Vance: Smithers this is unacceptable, are they at least adhering to our Spirit values?
Smithers: Yes they live by the spirit values to the extreme, inside and outside the office. It’s rumored that some of them even recite them in their sleep, and they’ve even made up a spirit value song.
Commander Vance: Well Smithers that good and all, however it’s time we end this once and for all. Lets commence operation RTS
Smithers: Remove their staplers! Are you sure?
To be continued...
Stay tuned for more upcoming ConocoPhillips adventures. Stay warm!