After that joke of an analyst call yesterday with the typical corporate bull shiitake gibberish by our floundering CEO, the poser of a COO and the complete joke of a CFO, what is the BOD waiting for? Layoff this non PVI talent. Save SWN!!!!
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Colleen will save the company...
Unfortunately it is a "last in, first out" mentality around here. But there is hope, as "last in, first out" may not mean what you think it means. Nill Pay really appreciates employees who are willing to stick their noses in a place that is very special to him. Brown-nosing and guzzling the corporate Kool-aide will trump talent, hard work and longevity at SWN, 10 out of 10 times.
Sending thoughts and prayers to all my SWN peeps who are worried about layoffs
Prayers to you and the rest of us as layoffs roll thru us this week!
I’m a single parent and my ex is a contract special ed teacher. I hope SWN is more flexible on working from home so I can teach my kids common core math. I’m totally stressing now and last think I need to happen is to get laid off. I’ve only been at SWN for 16 and a half months. Hope it’s not last in first out around here! Praying.
Agree. Raises for all! No layoffs cause we are laser focused on enhanced performance. I say pay us in rubles or shillings or loons! Seriously do they not have loo handles JB where you come from???
This is getting ridiculous! Who left the “all American no flush” for the second day in a row? Childish behavior by our executives who think this is cute. Sad! Our janitorial staff needs a raise! Everybody knows they need a raise!
I have it on good authority that ol British teeth (you know who) is heading back to Liverpool. Weird that he does our books in Euros.
If another executive is “retired”- so who are we kidding - laid off easy money (pun intended) is JB. He and his clown car can roll on down the highway.
After that investor call on Friday (ouch is right), any guesses who the next lucky winner is in the “retired executive” wheel of misfortune is? The wheel is spinning and slowing down..
Not sure what made me remember this. Don’t remember his name but he was the HSER VP who was “retired” a few years ago cause he never moved the needle period even when he tried with laser focus and conviction. Sad. Truly a way to end a meaningless career as an executive.
Ouch the investor call was pretty painful to listen to.
The hole least team do two. Bad vibes equells pink slits
I have a bad feeling about this week. I really do.
I have it on good authority that layoffs will happen this week. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just got back from church and while wife is cooking dinner I read this board. This is the best site ever! There is so much humor in these dark times and more truth within these threads. Thank you thank you thank you!
NEWS FLASH - MUST READ
(Parody News Network NYSE: PNN)
Further strengthened financial (or executive compensation cause why not) resilience through comprehensive cost reductions (ok actually a slight bend here cause executive upgrade on paper products for men’s restroom applied) and leading operational achievements (beta test new plunger design) ; lowered annual cost guidance across all categories (except except severance cause more layoffs will happen by year end)
Southwest Energy Company (NYSE: WJW) today announced financial and operating results for the second quarter ended June 30, 2020.
- Broad-based cost elimination with full year expense savings totaling $90 million (in Way bucks), up $30 million (in Way bucks)since last quarter;
- Achieved record single-well cost of $505 per egg frittata lateral brown foot; expect to average $650 per egg frittata brown foot in the second half of the year;
- Revised annual capital guidance to $860 million (for cheaper paper products other than fifth floor) – $915 million (bigly bonuses for executives), lowering high end of range;
- Shallowed annual non-egg frittata base decline to 23%;
- Delivered total production of 201 Bcfe (strictly from 5th floor); including 1.7 Bcf per day of gas (stall WJW) and 79 MBbls per day of brown mud;
- Realized $120 million in cash settlements to executive bank accounts for their exceeds expectations performance across all commodities, a $0.60 per Mcfe benefit; reported weighted average realized price (excluding transportation from 5th floor to septic tank) of $2.05 per Mcfe including derivatives (let’s not discuss what this is cause this is kid friendly humor) ; and
- Repurchased $27 million senior notes at a 24% discount cause hey the stock will never exceed $3.00 ; year-to-date senior note repurchases total $107 million at a 33% discount cause our value is the discount bin at checkout.
"Southwest Energy (really me alone) again underscored its strength and resilience during the second quarter. We (typo should be I) mitigated many of the far-reaching impacts of COVID-19, toilet paper rationing except for me with operational agility and commercial flexibility (speaking flexibility be right back or maybe in 15 minutes cause the egg frittata kicked in) to achieve results at or above your commitments (I met mine). These actions support my return to a self-funded capital net water neutral flush program in 2021," said Bill Way, Southwest Energy President and all around good guy and Chief Executive Cheesy Smile Officer.
"I delivered comprehensive cost reductions and bigly more with my 6 or is it 7 rounds (gee it’s been a lot right?!) of layoffs since I have been CEO, improved my base (or egg frittata brown mud decline and lowered well or at least tried to improve
flush per foot costs, all ahead of expectations. This progress, along with our dynamic hedge (or plunger utilization) portfolio and returns-focused (past tense cause I am not such a forward thinker) capital allocation practice, solidly (except when I have two egg frittatas) moves me forward on my path to deliver sustainable (remember new plunger design)long-term value," continued WJW aka Mr extra starched shirt guy
Good day all. Getting ready to go to Sunday service. We really pack em in for some singing, dancing and stuff. So thrilled about the analyst call. No layoffs again. Know this for a fact cause I got me a SWN bingo. Here’s how:
Here’s what it was.
I got the diagonal with the following words phrases: “Laser sharp focus”, “impairment (of Our CFO teeth repair work write off)”, “thanks to the team”, and “thanks Bill (while simultaneously hearing The COO out on PPE goggles and knee pads).
How did you do? Any other winners I missed?
Just know that we are not having layoffs thanks to current leaders
Off for some more “winning” with my cousin and son/nephew and daughter/niece
Bless your heart sweetie. We will never see layoffs again cause Bill said so. If you have questions then go ask him. Quit whining about this anymore.
analyst call was the typical t–d polishing that SWM Mgmt uses to put the shiny on another thoroughly disgusting financial performance...share and note holders need to pressure the BOD to rid SWN of these clowns