I am sad everyday and can’t seem to drink the kool aid. I started out wanting to make positive change and make a difference but it’s hard with managers who have no idea what you’re doing. I don’t know how to kiss a– so how do I manage it? Any ideas? I have been working here 4 years and had 3 roles and I think I will be relieved the day I finally leave. My mental health is getting worse. Those of you that have worked long but hated it how did you survive?
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It takes 1 hour to update a resume. Spend a little time each week applying for new jobs on company time. See if anyone is interested and jump ship if the new opportunity looks good. My first boss said, "new jobs are like puppies, if you look at them long enough eventually you will take one home".
I took the PIL and had a lot of fun for 6 months and am off to a new job in a growing company, but many others are still looking for work. The current job market is a strange one where some folks are snapped up in a second and others are ignored for many months. If you can get out, do it!
@1tpf+1994ceys
Do you talk badly of people behind their backs?
Do you hurt people purposefully? Throw them under the bus?
Do you hide info from your coworkers because of competition?
Do you put on a fake persona around your boss and people of influence?
Etc
OP here
@1nty+1994ceys
Thank you for your write up. I’m in my early 30’s so I feel I have many years ahead of me. I totally believe there are many people like you described. Some will love it and some will hate it but I defo hate it
Love Exxon. Have head great supervisors and managers. Nowhere is perfect, and life ain't fair. Get over it or move on. You sound like a big baby.
Small to mid sized companies are very good to work for - Praxair/Linde, Air Products, Air Liquide, Westrock, Lubrizol, Southernco - to name a few. The bigger the company, the bigger the bureaucracy. I suffered with ExxonMobil for 24 years, so glad to be out now, I work for a smaller company, much happier. 24 years pension was well worth my time with ExxonMobil, but the first few years I was Mobil, the last 12 years out of 24 were awful, I only stayed because of the 7% 401K match, pension and high salary. If no pension and no high pay, I would have left a long time ago. If I were in my 30s or 40s today I would quit. The company culture and people totally deteriorated after 2007-2010, now it is not a good company to work for. Even if you are in a group with smiling and nice people, the overall culture is strewn with inertia, resistance to change, excessive procedures and excessive tendency to lean on old best practices that are obsolete today and many other time wasting things not seen in small to mid sized companies. If you are creative, innovative and entrepreneurial, ExxonMobil is NOT the right place. If you are a great fit to work for the government or the IRS then yes, ExxonMobil is a great place to fit your persona. Or if you are ex-nazi-secret service police or ex KGB, then you will make a fantastic manager, a great HR manager or a internal auditer- and you may be the next D Woods or Rex T.
Most places are not like Exxon. Okay? Get that in your brain thoroughly.
People are afraid to leave for the same reason people are at other companies. They think are paid well, don’t like the idea of hopping a job, and are afraid to land somewhere worse. I hypothesize 95%+ of workplaces are better than EM based on my conversations and experiences.
Dot let the door hit you on the way out. Be brave.
You missed the point. Culture is the issue.
1/3 of my managers were amazing. 1/3 were meh. 1/3 actively sabotaged me because they felt threatened.
I didn’t like those numbers. I didn’t like dreading going into work everyday. All I want is to do my job and do it well. I didn’t sign up for lies and backstabbing. There’s more to life than money.
@rvv+1994ceys Very valid comment and I agree with you. Had great experience working with many amazing people and bosses. Many are still around.
However, the last boss I had was inexperienced, lazy and had just transitioned into that role (was his first leadership assignment). The toxic-narcissistic behavior started seeping out right from the second week and by 5-6 months it became absolutely intolerable. By month 8, my mental health had deteriorated soo bad and started physically affecting my body as well. Hated the fact that I lost the job I once loved, but being a straight cookie it was a no win situation for me. Bad bosses like him are a rare experience and unfortunately it happened to me.
Working for Exxon just plain s—s. The only justification/tradeoff used to be the money. That's gone now. Put on your big boy pants and either figure out how to deal with it or move on with your life
Why would anyone leave a career over one bad Team Lead? They change every few years or less. Most of them are good and you can expect a good one to arrive when this one gets promoted.
Why did you stay? “ When your spirt leaves let your body leave with it.” Dave Ramsay
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=COAS1S4RXNE
Well, start try to live with 1/2 the money of your paycheck, don't touch the other half. See if you can survive. If you can, you have nothing to worry, there are plenty of job out there that will be happier. If you can't, you are stuck, either you have a lot of debt or you are spending too much and you have to keep working to feed the beast that lives inside you.
The only people who do are narcissists, who use their narcissistic skills to move up and garner constant praise. I have left corporate. Good riddance. 32yo.
It’s just a job. I spent most of 2020 watching Netflix while WFH.. been amazing.. of course I did spend time making sure managers know I’m working by sending emails out at night and PowerPoint sharing to the team to display the desired behaviours.
I will stay until I’m ask to leave some day.. although I’m certain it’s not any time soon
You really need to get out. Believe me, there are plenty of employees that like working for EM. I mean no disrespect but please do us all a favor and leave. It will be much better for you and those who have to work with you. Just do it. You won’t regret it
After 3 years and an abusive team lead, I knew I couldn’t spend 40 years here pretending people weren’t id–ts or worse for a pay check, so I started working on an early retirement plan. Save, invest, retire early. I did. #fire Jump ship if the opportunity presents.
You are not alone here. This sounds very similar to what happened to me when working with IOL in Canada. Loved the job, was self-motivated, enjoyed working with colleagues until a narcissistic team-lead ruined everything to the point where I was praying to be laid off. I refused to kiss the ring and as a consequence was mobbed, gaslighted and ostracized before being let go. It was one of the best day in my life and I felt soo alive after many many months of abuse and mental health decline.
Some quick thoughts/advise for you to consider:
- Don't approach management cartel for help as you'll pay the price for it EVEN if you are right. Try to play along if that doesn't conflict with your principles.
- Accept that the system can't be changed. The gaslighting and witch-hunting that'll follow if you try to rock the boat will add fuel to the fire.
- Try to keep a communication log and email trail of your convos with higher-ups.
- If your mind and body tells you that things aren't going good, it is probably right. Start planning your exit strategy.
- No job/company/salary is worth compromising your mental health for. Life will get better when you move to a better environment (Mine certainly did).
- Remember to appreciate your skills, values and don't ever lose your self confidence.
Keep strong and I wish and pray good things for you.
If your heart and mind isn't in it, time for something new. There is more to life than a fat pay check. Plus, if you play your cards right, you could be making good money somewhere else that isn't nearly as cutthroat or miserable. Good luck!