Did anyone see Trim post a few hours ago? It was a little spicy and it disappeared.
10 replies (most recent on top)
I must say, Trim was bang on with his (her?) prediction.
@k7 I don’t know total numbers, but several under my managers manager. I know of some in London and Irving. Heard it’s not done. This is tech.
@fy any idea, how many ? Which location?
Trim wasn’t kidding around. Cuts happened today.
I'm not Trim, but here it is:
Team,
Over the weekend, I sat down with the family to watch a movie.
We didn’t get to the actual watching part, but we did spend a productive 94 minutes arguing over whether we could watch anything that doesn’t feature the Celtics, Dunkin’, or a fight in a Revere parking lot. Luke kept queueing up TikToks of people screaming “Say hi to ya mothah for me.” Madison demanded we watch The Departed, but only if we agreed it’s not as good as Good Will Hunting. Jack claimed Affleck peaked in Argo and should never be allowed near facial hair again. Ryley said we couldn’t watch anything with Mark Wahlberg because “he’s too method now.” Thomas tried to play Manchester by the Sea and was immediately told to shut the he-l up.
Eventually, we formed a Movie Governance Committee, chartered a trailer review workstream, and assigned point values to genres based on perceived watchability and emotional ROI. We didn’t watch anything, but we built a solid framework for how we might one day watch something, assuming platform licensing aligns and Madison doesn’t threaten to unplug the TV again.
We’re proud to report that we’re on track to have a decision made in Q3, and the movie itself will be watched sometime in Q4, pending resourcing and snack alignment.
We’re calling it Movie Night MVP1.
No outcome. No consensus. No popcorn.
So in many ways, it was the most Citi thing we’ve ever done.
How do you like them apples?
And speaking of progress, brace yourself, Bridget.
That’s also what I tell my wife before we make love. We schedule it like any other meeting: 30 minutes, optional attendance, recurring every third Thursday. I usually finish by Minute 12 and proudly give her the last 18 back. It’s what leaders do.
And speaking of getting laid…
…off, some of you are about to.
Not hypothetically. Not eventually. We’re talking very, very, very soon.
As in, this month. Possibly this week. Realistically, before you finish this email, someone you know may already be on mute, camera off, and halfway through a Quick Call.
If you haven’t received a calendar invite yet, congratulations; you’ve bought yourself another 6 to 9 business hours.
Roughly 12% of you in Technology and Business Enablement will be impacted, but don’t worry. Jonathan Lostcause personally required all managers to certify that your departure will have zero effect on delivery, velocity, service quality, or human emotion. In other words, it’s business as usual.
If you weren’t impacted, don’t get too comfortable. You now own three Jira boards, a legacy database, and someone else’s 1:1 with Jonathan Lostcause.
But don’t worry; he won’t dial in. He only manages up.
Let me be the first to (preemptively) congratulate those of you soon joining the prestigious Citi Alumni Network, a growing community of former colleagues who, like my streaming queue, are long, disorganized, and increasingly filled with drama.
But don’t worry. The perks are second to none! As a Citi alum, you’ll receive:
10% off your next Citi-branded travel mug
Early access to our “How to Explain This on Your Resume” webinar series
Access to the alumni SharePoint, last updated in 2019
One complimentary “It’s Not You, It’s Citi” farewell e-card, signed by no one
Mandatory “Farewell to Your Email” SumTotal training
(must pass with 80% to receive alumni status)
To redeem, use referral code: MYMDAPPROVEDTHIS
Redeemable only through OneApproval, Citi’s unified workflow tool that sits proudly behind eight layers of sequential approvers. Each one ignores their email, assumes someone else is looking at it, and will only approve if you ping them directly on Teams, twice, during their lunch.
On AI, Governance, and the Power of Doing Less
As many of you know, we’ve recently launched an ambitious initiative to explore the use of artificial intelligence across Citi. Not to use it; just to explore using it.
We’ve assembled the Global Responsible AI Policy & Enablement Steering Tribunal (GRAPEST), which is currently holding biweekly pre-read sessions to draft the structure of an eventual subcommittee.
The group’s mission is simple: ensure no AI is used until it is fully understood, perfectly controlled, and at least 2 to 3 quarters too late.
While competitors let Copilot summarize meetings, transcribe Zooms, and generate follow-ups automatically, our AI enablement journey is more robust. It would be too easy, and make too much sense, to simply enable the tools already used by every other Fortune 500 company. Instead, we require:
MD-level sponsorship
Completion of Form G-311B (AI Use in Conversation-Like Contexts)
Attendance by a VP from Risk, who, in fairness, does not understand what the approval standard is and has no authority to approve anything
A signed attestation stating you accept the risks of reading content that may have been inferred
We call this Responsible Innovation.
⸻
And finally, a quick shoutout to our London office, where Facilities continues bravely catching ceiling leaks with rubbish bins. Their water collection effort has now outpaced both the hydration station and our regional investment in actual pipes. The team has since been rebranded as the Global Liquid Asset Management Squad.
We appreciate your continued agility in dodging puddles and answering surveys.
Trim
I haven't seen it myself but I think that stuff that breaks the site rules in some way get deleted. Not sure.
Let's hope Trim reposts after removing the parts that got the post auto deleted. I could do with some laughter today!
@OP Yes, probably removed by moderator. It was awesome 👏
It mentioned some intimate time with his wife. Perhaps that triggered a deletion?
No, i was wondering what happened to Trim