I have been working on trying to leave Citibank but it has been exhausting. Responsibilities outside work, taking care of sick family members, studying for technical interviews and working long hours since my team is overseas wears you out. It was manageable when I was willing to stay, but I definitively feel the strain trying to work on getting out. The work load and long hours makes it hard to take care of myself. I don't have free time to take care of myself so I get little sleep and don't go to the gym. to compensate, I try to control my diet so my body doesnt suffer too much.
I been studying any free time I have and applying for jobs, but these recruiters want a machine, not a human. Some of these coding challenges or interview topics seem to gatekeep people they dont want to join their team. I have been at it for eight months on and off based on life circumstances. I recently trying the push to leave again but I been burning the candle of both ends, that it is now showing badly. I cannot push myself to work anymore at the job. I am just sitting mindlessly in front of the computer and its been like this for 5 days. I have work piling up and I cannot push myself. Even in late meetings Im just sitting there, I know my health is declining but i have no choice.
Yesterday I sat in front of my computer for 10 hours and only got 2 hours of work done. The rest was just staring at the monitor in a sleep like state, awakened back to reality by the teams ping message. It is really starting to be obvious I am burned out and I been trying my best to hide it from the bosses. I try not to sit anywhere near them to hide it to preserve my image.