A rare but rapidly spreading condition triggered when Michael Dell logs on, drops a “Go American” post, and starts sounding like he just got off a call with Donald Trump.
Symptoms include:
Immediate emotional spiral on internal boards
Writing a 9-paragraph manifesto no one asked for on the layoff site
Saying “this isn’t political” while being extremely political
Refreshing comments like it’s the stock ticker during earnings
Advanced stages:
Convincing yourself every product launch is now a campaign rally
Interpreting supply chain updates as coded political messaging
Believing your PowerEdge server has a voting preference
Diagnosis:
A corporate variant of Trump Derangement Syndrome but with more acronyms, fewer facts, and way worse comment sections.
Treatment:
Log off
Touch grass
Stay off layoff sites until mild sedation sets in