I wish skipping happy hour didn't make people think you're not a team player. I like my coworkers fine, but my evenings are for my actual life. There's this unspoken expectation to always be around. Is this just my team and my manager? Because I'm getting really tired of it and I wouldn't mind transferring to get away from it.
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yeah why does it always have to be bars
Oh the only thing that matters or counts there is if you do the incessant team bonding. Doesn’t matter if you solve world hunger. If you go to all the b.s. social events you’ll be promoted and adored. Skip them and you’ll be demonized!
I'd keep the interaction with co-workers to strictly 4 hours a day or less anything more is literally exhausting and not worth your time. Work on your skills instead build other connections and GTFO.
I don't hang out with anyone I work with outside of work period. I don't even go by the same name
Attending happy hours, lunches, ERGs in corporate America offers benies that go far beyond just getting food, drinks, merch. While they are social events, they serve several strategic functions for your career. The goal is to connect, not to let your guard down completely.
So embarrassing.
You guys are having happy hours? Lol! I wish my team mates at least developed a friendly relationship. CO workers aren't friends, but we don't have to be robots logging in from 9-5. Too much of happy hours aren't healthy either. Come on over to our team. We can happy hour once every quarter? Lol
It’s a team-specific item that could harm your career. However, not participating is usually healthier and less toxic. Ask individuals and your boss to lunch and you’ll cover as much as you can.
Just say you have a commitment or appointment you have to go to. Will make you feel better if it's hard to just say no. I get it though. I had a similar situation, I always had something else I had to go to on those after hour 'team event' days. In my case I had a long drive home and didn't need hitting the traffic nor getting home late only to have to get up early and drive back into work.
@OP I think it’s just you… “unspoken expectation” sounds like you projecting some sort of insecurity or feeling of guilt/shame onto people that probably couldn’t care less
I skip it all now (happy hours, team lunches, employee resource group meetings), I used to attend everything and hated it. I just say I am on a strict diet for health reasons and nobody says anything.