Thread regarding ConocoPhillips layoffs

welcome to wednesday, drone!

Although we've been holding meetings in Houston this week determining your future, we felt it utterly unnecessary to communicate with you. You are, after all, only tiny cogs in a very large wheel that you couldn't possibly comprehend, even if we were to provide training to specifically explain the nature of "The Wheel" to you. So, we'll forgo those unnecessary formalities and speak directly to you as the vermin that you are...

Sorry, but we've determined that you're irrelevant (based mostly upon our self-anointed uber-relevance, which we're simply giddy about!!) Daddy sends hugs!

;-)

Please start removing your personal belongings from the premises immediately, as we don't really want to have to interact with you on a personal basis whence we'll be forced to inform you that your personal existence doesn't matter to us. although the actual occurrence will take a much less PC form, you'll know it when it happens. X-)

So, anyhoo...thanks for your consideration re: the aforementioned unpleasantries. We'd love to hug each & every one of you on your way out the door, but...aint nobody got time for that.

Am I right?!

We know you'll like to keep it classy just like we do, so, please...just go away and resume your irrelevant existence in places/situations we can't/won't be able to imagine. We've flights to catch...

hugs RL & co

by
| 3151 views | | 9 replies (last August 18, 2017) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+ONBeaYg

9 replies (most recent on top)

2cpt, you forgot "Straight Talk with N.O.", which from the name sounds like g-- conversion therapy. #inclusion

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @2vsd+ONBeaYg

I for one do not want the ELT to communicate with me every day - I have a job to do, and so do they.

If you are going to be laid off, then deal with it. Having them give you a daily update isn't going to change that one bit.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @2pnz+ONBeaYg

It amazes me, the lack of personal leadership present in the hallways of COP. So many upper managers that have the opportunity to walk and talk to the minions but don't. Instead they schedule controlled and limited townhalls halls or nickel deep events like "Breakfast with RL" or " Icecream with?" That in reality limits what they hear and is really, based on the current environment, disengenuous to their statements of concern. If they had more non arbitrary and honest interaction with all levels of the organizational structure , morale would probably be a little different.

Instead we see them avoiding us. GREAT LEADERSHIP.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @2cpt+ONBeaYg

We know nothing. We can say nothing. The good news is that we are performing above expections. Not last year's expectations, rather ones that we will define as we go to ensure outlook is always good.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1lma+ONBeaYg

This is today's town hall Technology Presentation:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xlNMk4SD6gA

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1bvv+ONBeaYg

What happened at today's Upstream Technology Townhall? What did Tele Tubby say?

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1dum+ONBeaYg

Except the part about flights to catch since the private gulfstream jets fly on the ELT whim schedule

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1ruw+ONBeaYg

That is ECO AF

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1kpj+ONBeaYg

Brilliant! Spot on!

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @wzf+ONBeaYg

Post a reply

: