Face it, it's Christmas week and we are all exhausted after 7 months of not knowing what the hell is going on with our jobs! "The Harlot Pimpernel" from Socle posted a roast of her boss (DS) and I think it'll cheer you up. If you're like me, it'll remind you of a few CCi managers you know: "Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory." "I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it." "Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is." "If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ass." "If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart." "It's kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence." "Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?" "We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough." "So you've changed your mind, does this one work any better?" "I was pro life before I met you." "If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards."
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Ha Ha! I already used three of those at our XMas dinner! Don't worry, my family has a sense of humor!
Hi, guys. I'm from ECMC and really glad to see that so many of you have a sense of humor. There are some seriously funny Corinthian Colleges folks! You'll fit right in, and I look forward to working with you. Happy Holidays!
To Dave, KD, and the rest of their crew: this is all in fun. You really are assholes, but then you already knew that and don't seem to have a problem with it. Maybe it will continue to help you to do well at the expense of nicer, more ethical people. Well, anyway, have a Happy Christmas! If any of you are stuck on what New Year's resolution to make, why not ponder the posts on this thread and see if they help you to find one. Peace!
I'm not exhausted. I made my own future and got out. More money. No for profit business model to uphold. Good luck all of you. If you want, you can get out, too. Takes some effort. But it's worth it.
“You’re so ugly if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!” Holy crap! That NAILED KD!!! This is fun -- thanks everyone who's contributed!
I wonder what the people who you guys hate and put on blast think when they read these posts. lol
This has been a fun thread! It really cheered me up today. Not a lot of CCi/ECMC sale info on here, but I guess we just need to wait and learn our fate. In the meantime, it's nice to have a place to go to laugh and blow off some steam. Especially if it's at Dave's expense (I hate that little MOFO).
Wow. So, I report to Dave, okay? You people are so bad but so f***ing hilarious! Now get back to work. You can add some more insults to the pot when your shift is over.
Holy f***! LMFAO!
A few special ones so that bitch KD doesn't feel left out.
“It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.”
“You’re so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.”
“You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.”
“You’re so ugly if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you
for mooning!”
“You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no
professionals!”
Hey Dave, come on out and stop being shy! Even you have to admit that this is funny as shit! When you're being roasted it's traditional to be good-natured about it and say a few words...
As a psychologist in a previous life, I have to say I'm impressed that you folks are managing to channel your frustration and anger into a harmless emotional outlet. Keep up the good work and a lot of these insults are really, really funny!
Guess the film: "If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the John and watch you take a leak"
“I don’t give a tuppeny f*** about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit sack.”
“You’re an emotional fcking cripple. Your soul is dogsht. Every single f*cking thing about you is ugly.”
“You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn't bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you.”
"You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humour and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick."
"I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon."
"You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity."
“It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!”
"I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
"You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!"
"You're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty.”
"I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?"
Count me in! these all work for DS, even though they are secretly meant for someone else at Socle. “Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!”
“You not stupid; you're possessed by a retarded ghost.”
“If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!”
“Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?”
“If what you don't know can't hurt you, then you are invulnerable.”
“Are your parents siblings?”
“I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.”
“I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.”
“You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.”
“Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.”
LOL! Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho! Seriously, I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday and I wish you all the best in the new year! Honestly, I think things will get better for most of us, because...well, they really can't get much worse. For those of you recently RIF'd, best of luck and keep in touch!
Hey, if it's for Dave I'm here to help spread the love! "You must have a Teflon brain, because nothing sticks." "Your breath is so stinky, we look forward to your farts." "You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle." "Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul." "I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving." "Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!"
That last one is a killer! I think I need to remember it for my next run-in with my MIL.