when all through the house, Two creatures were stirring, it was Marty and his work spouse.
The pink slips were hung by the chimney with care,
That Marty would even bang a chick with dirty underwear.
Wrongway and the Italian princess were nestled all snug in the same bed,
While visions of slap fighting each other and a Three way with Robot Texan danced in their heads.
And K-Rat in his Knight Rider Shirt and Gazoo in that dumb Husqevarna cap,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Marty sprang from the bed and slipped in his own baby batter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.
Last Year was Dirt Cola, but this year the real thing,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment Santa showed up to talk to Marty the prick.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
He asked why felt the need to be such a sack, he had flung a reindeer turd at Darty- it hit him in the back.
Disgusted with the Union busting, Santa left the house with out taking even a cookie- he really didn't want to see Tomway and the Princess getting some nookie.
So he visited the workers to bring them some cheer, went to the local tavern to grab a quick beer.
Santa pounded some brew and nodded to the crew- Said I cant get to wasted- I got work to do. Good luck to you guys-
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"