I heard today that the CEO who managed to drive a 125-year-old business icon into the ground in a mere 13 years - flase, it's been happening for over 30 years
I believe I am the oracle with the answers that will allow a successful resurrection of the retail magic that made Sears the very first one-stop shopping experience.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
When my brother and I were old enough to ride our bikes out of our neighborhood, we would beeline to the big Sears store for a delightful hour in air-conditioned comfort, strolling the unique departments and popping in on Grammy for a surprise hello.
The curb appeal was positively awful. Maximum security penitentiaries were more inviting. Clearly the focus was the indoor ambiance. The floors were polished to an icy sheen.
At every turning there was a happy surprise. The appliance department was a favorite because of a Kenmore (of course!) vacuum cleaner hidden inside an elaborate 3D cardboard display of a seal posed on a circusy-looking stool. The hum of the blowing vacuum hose drew us in but the real hook was a big beach ball spinning in perpetual motion 18 inches above the seal’s nose. Genius!
So much BS in two paragraphs I made them one
But here is the clincher. There was one entrance with a foyer that had double sets of large doors. It was a self-contained space with tall glass-topped display counters.
One case had a slowly rotating turntable filled with mixed nuts dusted with powdery salt. Heat lamps hovered above, transforming this simple snack into an aromatic miracle.
Snugged up to this hypnotic display was the pinnacle of basic marketing ... wienies. Wienies nestled into slowly turning stainless rollers, plumping and sweating until their perfectly roasted skins were just right for the steamed buns waiting in their very own private compartment.
Behind all the mechanized entertainment was a giant wooden barrel of Hires root beer ready to dispense your frothy refreshing beverage into a waxy paper cup. Each time the doors opened, a puff of meaty goodness escaped into the store. Mmmm.
LOL Wut? Hot dogs and mixed nuts are gonna save sears?
Alas, we never partook of these delights. Our folks didn’t go in for that kind of silliness.
Mommy issues are the entire reason for this article
So we enjoyed every store visit and became devoted to the Sears brand of excellence until competition and bad management dulled our memories.
So, Eddie Lampert, you bonehead, if you are serious about bringing Sears back from death’s door, it might be as simple as asking your customers what they miss most.
Call me.
no, no one will call you