Spoke with the doomsday prophets on Thursday (Friday was obvi my flex) and turns out we all misinterpreted their original signs. Layoffs were never supposed to be on 5/10, that was just the number of employees to get axed (510). Doomsday will be 5/24 so everyone that still has a job gets a nice long weekend to think of ways to add value, be R squared, cut costs, assault margin and work as 1 to get to 0. Management also thought it’d be fun to tag it as the Memorial Day Melee. So if anyone asks what you’ve heard - 510 on 5.24, duh.
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Yes Thursday last time. Not sure how the mid month comment plays in . It’s very demoralizing here
Last time it was on a Thursday.
Thanks 2doy! What to add Value Minus. You are NOT the breath of fresh air for all of us sitting on pins and needles. It’s not IF but WHEN. We think it is 510 of us on 5/24.
I believe the SWN folks are sitting ok. It’s mid-month and a Tuesday. If a layoff were to occur, it probably would have been today.
Come on Joker on 6, another “failed” program. just like the Webmaster you had one job to do. at least the Webmaster got it right now so did you notice the change Joker?
[Plankton]
Brilliant! So we should see everyone walking sideways down the stairs so they can use both hands on the rail? I hereby award you no points and consider this your critical conversation for my stop observation card. Wait, that stupid app is messed up again!
3 points of contact = both hands and a foot
I only army crawl up n down now to keep max contact. Sure its slower but omg-shh the safety is intoxicating ~thekrustykrab () - - ()
Hey “1bvy”, how exactly do you maintain 3 points of contact on the stairs? Do you slide down with both feet while holding on to hand rail or grow your arms wider so you can hold both at the same time? Please explain. Thanks.
-Gator bayt
Better do it before everyone starts taking summer vacations! Then you’ll be sitting on a beach with a frozen drink in hand and someone will call you to say you’ve been laid off. Me thinks it’s sooner rather than later.
The VPs are probably going in there because they’re informing them of their golden parachute. We’ve got to have the most VPs of any company this size. Seriously look at the titles of some and the amount of people under them. We even have divisions with duplicate VPs.
So maybe 5/17 if they're already set up there and bringing vps through?
For those unfortunate souls who enter and depart from the war room, just remember that it will probably be your middle finger that will answer most of their questions.
I believe the true architectural intent of the HR war room will be put to use this round of terminations. They’ll shuffle people in one by one through the door in the secured area, lay you off, collect badge, phone, SWN apparel (don’t wear it on layoff day, or you may be leaving the building shirtless) and flush you out the door on the non secured side and into the parking garage. Just remember, all safety rules still apply post termination (such as maintaining 3 points of contact on stairs, no backing of vehicles into angled parking spaces, speed limits, etc.) or you could forfeit your 2 days of pay severance package. Layoff season is in full swing! Good luck, folks!
Latley flurry of VPs coming and going from “war room”. Does not look good. Facial expression of those leaving “war room”. One word “dire”
"The HR War Room" is a pretty good indicator of the inevitable. Likely it will happen in a month.
Its coming. The date? Who knows. Probably before August like Billy said. The number? Thats anyones guess. But the work room has already been setup for HR so its only a matter of time.
For just one night let’s not be co-workers. Let’s be co-people.
In the words of the late great Colonel Sanders: I'm too drunk to taste this chicken