Thread regarding Anadarko Petroleum Corp. layoffs

Anadarko, is that you?

A Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race on the St. Lawrence River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The North Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the North American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So, North American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

It was called the ”Rowing Team Quality First Program“, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the North American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments in new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year’s racing team was outsourced to India.”

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| 5382 views | | 45 replies (last May 18, 2017) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+JYblpqj

45 replies (most recent on top)

KM was the exploration company

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Post ID: @3nnde+JYblpqj

Not missing that point. But what's this stuff about losing races year after year? About hiring consultants and reorganizing? I don't know what company you work or worked for but, no, that is not Anadarko. Anadarko was extremely successful at exploration and production. It was well respected by investors, peers, employees. There have been some expensive misjudgments and mishaps like Tronox and Macondo but those were managed. Anadarko's problems are the same problems the rest of the industry is suffering from. The problem is not that there are too many middle managers, it is that they are the wrong people. A lot of them s--- at their jobs, s--- at people management, are more interested in managing their careers, and are rewarded for the wrong reasons.

It's not"all there if you just open your mind." It's not the "best post on this site." It's not "the ticket." The post wasn't even written about Anadarko. And it is poorly written.

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Post ID: @bnrm+JYblpqj

How does no one on here realize that the post is making fun of Anadarko's culture of way to many managers? Or are all of you managers (or team leads, or supervisors, or coordinators...) and are thus offended by it? Which, if that's the case, kinda proves the whole point of the post.

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Post ID: @acpe+JYblpqj

Aww don't be mad.

How do you scare 10,000 driving Texans?

Throw 1" of snow at them!

Nothing but love for you "grumpkins"

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Post ID: @ajkh+JYblpqj

okay stop sniveling, crybaby. the post s---ed and you're a pu--y.

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Post ID: @admb+JYblpqj

Too stupid to change your own oil "grumpkins?" Doesn't surprise me, Texans cant drive, let alone do a simple task such as that. Well, come to think of it you couldn't afford my oil change even with a $20 off coupon considering your menial unemployment benefits.

I'd almost feel bad about jamming a screwdriver in your eye if you had the troll balls to say anything at all in person. That would be a service to everyone here reading your posts. But I guess you do need two eyes to read "Saucy Young Guys" on your computer between troll posts here. You remember? It's the same g-- kid porn that got you fired in the first place.

Looking forward to your next 10 posts as different people. Try quality comebacks instead of quantity squidgie......

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Post ID: @ajwf+JYblpqj

Isn't it funny how everyone thinks they are the normal one at work?!

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Post ID: @9pag+JYblpqj

I started laughing at these comments and then started laughing even harder because I was laughing for no reason. Sad.

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Post ID: @9svd+JYblpqj

Do you ever find yourself really bored so you go on Anadarko Layoffs yet you find that there is nothing to do except refresh the page until something new pops up?

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Post ID: @9nne+JYblpqj

jesus f---face don't make "grumpkins" cry! he's really quite sensitive and gets all pms-y at work when he's doesn't get empty encouragement for doing nothing. why do you think we all told him what a great thing he did when he posted this thing? we know its a piece of sh-- as you KEEP saying. we did it so we don't have to put up with his b--chy crybaby sh-- at work. do me a solid and don't get this asswipe pissy.

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Post ID: @9ssu+JYblpqj

Bravo, grumpkins. Your literary skills are improving! See you at my next oil change.

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Post ID: @9tiu+JYblpqj

Go s--- a fart out of a dead chicken's a-- and stay on topic. You can carry on posts with yourself in far better places. You're the most desperate troll on this site. Channel 12, I.T. guys, SCI-FI, what else you going to divert on? Park frisbee championships? How about gargling peanut butter for an encore?

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Post ID: @9flw+JYblpqj

Whatever, porkchop. I realize it's a personal affront when people don't appreciate all the hard work you spent plagiarizing some stupid sh-- you found on some other website that has nothing to do with Anadarko. Keep up the good work, f---ing idiot.

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Post ID: @9meq+JYblpqj

Now, listen up Boybutter, if you think you can win a flame war with me, think again. I'm the biggest flamer you've ever met. Just ask any of the guys on 12. You got a thing or two to learn before you're in my league, like how to address your opponent with patronizing terms like chief or honcho or blueboy or rimjob. I imagine myself as Sam Elliott as a biker or cowboy c---ing off in my last scene in the movie. But I'm really doing it as practice for my next job at Jiffy Lube. Yep can't send oil change jobs to India! My post was durn funny and the "best post ever." It is my legacy and I will keep defending it.

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Post ID: @9xvx+JYblpqj

You are sich a lier. You are obviously not a Rob Schneider fan!! RS is not the "that's the ticket" guy. Its John Lovitz. Obviously you didn't spend your high school years at home watching TV and smokin' weed on Saturday nights like the rest of us happenin' dudes. And no I don't have picture of John Lovitz on my FB page. He's a comic genious who will outlast us all but he's awful ugly. And just gets uglier as he gets older. Justin Bieber is on my FB page. He a badboy and kind of girly but I stopped looking at him. Now THAT'S THE TICKET!! LOL!!

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Post ID: @9aao+JYblpqj

Smoke some weed dumb--s and chill out. The post is okay, but seriously dude...

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Post ID: @9aga+JYblpqj

Best response on this site EVER to the best post on this site EVER!! This was such an awesome cool post! God is my self-esteem improved!! Aren't we great? Come on guys, who's with me?!!

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Post ID: @8hdi+JYblpqj

How many more times you gonna respond to yourself there chief? We get it, you don't like I.T. people. No doubt they wouldn't piss in your mouth if you were on fire either, but what does any of this have to do with the O.P?

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Post ID: @8nnq+JYblpqj

That's the (help desk) ticket!

Can you tell I'm a big Rob Schneider fan? His picture is on my FB page. I really like his copyroom guy bit where he calls people things like "Steve-erino". I use it when I open a ticket. It makes upset customers smile. You should try it. I used to use it when I worked at Radio Shack. Just saying. Being liked is important. That's what the Wizard of Oz says. He was just pretend. Gandalf was based on a real wizard. I don't know if he said the same thing. He had bigger problems than just being liked with all those short stupid people around him not doing what he says. Reminds me of me. Lots of short stupid people around me who don't listen to me. Some of them at work some at home (my cats). But I act all cool like the copyroom guy and they like me. Can you tell I'm a big Rob Schneider fan?

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Post ID: @8iwz+JYblpqj

STOP! I am not an animal! I am an IT help desk professional!!

Okay let's just go with "animal" instead.

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Post ID: @8bwe+JYblpqj

You ball less little sh--. Who told you about the deodorant thing? Janice are you posting these? That was supposed to be a secret. You guys are supposed to have my back.

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Post ID: @8ctd+JYblpqj

Now THAT'S a parody. But honestly I don't have poor hygiene since Mark made me start using deodorant and I have no trouble making eye contact. The rest of it is true though.

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Post ID: @8qxw+JYblpqj

LOL!! DeVry? Is that the best you can do? You missed the more obvious targets like my neckbeard, the tattoos all over my arms and neck, my poor hygiene, my missing teeth, my manbreasts, my unusually close relationship with my cat, and my inability to make eye contact. Like I said, trolling is not your thing.

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Post ID: @8gji+JYblpqj

"Waaah! I put my goddam little story up because I thought it was funny ... all the other tech-heads in their cubicles next to mine thought it was great and made me feel good about my loser self as I answer calls and sign out loaners. But you didn't like it!! You hurt my feelings!! Waaaahh!!" Go back to DeVry.

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Post ID: @8neq+JYblpqj

LOL!!!! Looks like some "waste of breath manager" just found out they had ball cancer on the same day their Cobra ran out.......It's OK, we're here for you. Happy to please you buttercup!

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Post ID: @8ngq+JYblpqj

'Preciate the feedback. Finally this piece of sh-- gets disavowed. Good to know that our IT professionals are only wasting time perusing the Internet and violating copyrights on company time but not writing like a 'tard . Still, a poorly written piece of sh--.

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Post ID: @7izk+JYblpqj

It was copy/pasted from another website meant to be as a joke here. No APC'er wrote it. Sorry to burst your bubble. You can get over yourself now and take a breath of fresh air outside. Trolling is really not your thing.

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Post ID: @7qfn+JYblpqj

Okay if this relates to IT outsourcing I grok it now. But it is still piece of sh-- that reads like it was written by a retard. Put down your comic books and read some real literature!

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Post ID: @7dpm+JYblpqj

It was improving which is telling that wrong people were let go.

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Post ID: @7rhu+JYblpqj

Is this about outsourcing IT?

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Post ID: @7uuj+JYblpqj

This was not written by a developmentally chanlleged high schooler. It was written by a developmentally challenged APC employee. With not enough work to fill her day.

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Post ID: @7jzz+JYblpqj

Yeah, you should check out the CL forums.

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Post ID: @7sjl+JYblpqj

Lots of angry posts on Craigslist?

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Post ID: @7rjp+JYblpqj

Wow, who would've thought that a simple humor analogy post would anger the sensitive APC mass so much. This place is getting to be as bad as Craigslist.

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Post ID: @7jgm+JYblpqj

This is really a very well written allegory. You should praise your developmentally challenged high schooler for her effort. Meaningless praise is often necessary to give direction to the unmotivated.

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Post ID: @7wap+JYblpqj

Go rub one out, take a dump and cheer on The Texans. You have anger issues that far exceed your lack of imagination.

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Post ID: @7zue+JYblpqj

No it's a stupid piece of sh--. And peer pressure or shaming to get me to pretend that it's not the stupid piece of sh-- it is doesn't faze me. I'm guessing the 'tard who wrote this stupid piece of sh-- is also the tard praising it. Or else you are all in the Denver office passing around a bong and "LMFAO" at a stupid piece of sh--.

Not well done. Not thoughtful. Not deep. Not relevant. STUPID. PIECE. OF. Sh--.

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Post ID: @7iap+JYblpqj

Yes, this is a wonderful analogy and needs to be shared as it describes the situation exactly. It's very simple to do...open your mind and see the truth. It's all there, plain as day.

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Post ID: @7cyu+JYblpqj

If you don't get this analogy, then you're probably face down in the cool aid.

This is brilliant.

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Post ID: @6sks+JYblpqj

Agree. Something tangible about potential layoffs or apc's fortunes would qualify as "good." A canoe race on the St Lawrence and then outsourcing to India? What is this supposed to mean? Maybe got posted to the wrong board.

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Post ID: @6qrh+JYblpqj

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