Rules for layoff at Ensco
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HR can NOT be laid off
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HR will NOT be laid off!!!
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Attractive women will not be laid off, unless they refuse your advances
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Admins may only be laid off if result is total life implosion
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90% of minorities must be laid off
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Rig managers, OIMs, and Toolpushers will not be laid off (he's my friend dude)
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Hunters and fishermen with hunting leases or boats, respectively, will not be laid of as long as I can use it.
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Work in the office and talk like a hick, lay off not applicable.
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Not a white male, lay off imminent, maybe not this time, but probably next time.
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Do your job proactively and efficiently = lay off
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College education = lay off
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Not in operations = lay off