This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Staples Purge sanctioned by Shira Shakira . Office equipment of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. Staples officials of ranking VP have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including shoplifting, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning until 7 a.m., when The Purge concludes. May Ron be with you all.
1 reply
That's the problem with Staples....the ones that NEED to be purged get immunity