Inside scoop - Tuesday (9/29) will be the day. Official numbers are 406 employee terminated. IT has completed the auto meeting invites to be distributed on Tuesday at 8:00am notifying the individual. Layoffs will rotate by building, starting with building 15, and moving counterclockwise by geographic location. Packages will include two weeks salary, tickets to a Thunder game, and a final butt burp in your choice of building bathroom. Also heard that clowns will be doing the termination speeches to ease the tension. Only option to save your job is to yell out "NO WHAMMY" when the meeting invite is received. That will auto defer the termination to the next person in line.
3 replies (most recent on top)
Idiot, Devon does not have building 15. YOU are not DEVON employee.
Bwahahaha
Thanks for the info. Remind me again which Devon building you're referring to. Maybe while you cut and paste from the CHK page, at least update a word or two to apply to the appropriate company. Solid way to spend a Friday night though. Did your mom bring down the meatloaf yet?