Thread regarding Intel Corp. layoffs

How to Survive Layoffs - An Engineering View

Here is your long missing layoff survival guide: Here is an opportunity to learn from us experts that have already gone through what Intel putting you guys through as it gradually replaces each of you domestic counterparts with cheaper offshore workers. 1. Never write any code comments, or if you do, don't try to explain how things work 2. Create silos of local work groups and work face to face... No email on how/what you've done, nothing should be written. 3. If overseas teams ask you how to do things, give a broad brush overview, no details are to be provided. Ever. 4. Write complicated code that is more difficult to understand, provided it does not affect the underlying performance/reliability. If it’s simple, make it complicated. 5. Don't write complete design documents, make sure the key things are missing. If you write design documents, write just enough to get management to think it's done, but not enough for engineers offshore to do anything reasonably useful with it. 6. From time to time, take a vacation day off on a very short notice, and let things just "explode" after you hand off your work to offshore teams. When you come back and things are not working, the fire-drill will be in progress. At that time, send lots of email about what a terrible job people have done... 7. Always, always and always blame problems on offshore teams, no matter how small. 8. Always blame the reason why you problems can't be fixed earlier is because there is a huge time zone difference between your location and those remote offices. 9. Hold meetings only at times that work fine for you but are in the middle of the night for those offshore teams (works really well with India). 10. Make sure your meetings you conduct locally are as efficient as possible and make your local U.S. totally in sync and ahead of the work schedule before you even meet with the offshore team. That way you will ensure that they look incompetent. 11. The best meetings are the ones held at 5:00 p.m. on Fridays, since that will be Saturday overseas (Asia) so the ones that most won't show up. And the ones that do show up, end up having to take time off their personal schedule to do it... Make sure this is a recurring weekly meeting... 12. At the last minute, reschedule those meetings for the next week (yet, continue to meet locally and carry on your business). 13. Make sure you send out detailed meeting notes to senior management, indicating who attended and more importantly, who didn't attend... 14. When someone screws up overseas, always make sure you take the initiative to nicely fix the problem, and make sure you send out at least five emails telling management how you fixed the problem, describing in painfully detailed fashion how things got so screwed up and how you fixed it. And most importantly, if you're going down, you might as well create as much havoc internally inside the company as possible. Nothing is worse more than a company has so much internal conflict that productivity and reasonable efficiency comes to a halt... It's 10x worse than any sort of external competition... Sit back and enjoy – have the management enjoy "cost" savings by offshoring...

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| 631 views | | 6 replies (last July 17, 2015) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+CuUo3Ez

6 replies (most recent on top)

Ha! Ha! Pretty funny. But as someone who has worked with offshore engineers at another company (see the Follett board), totally unnecessary. All you have to do is sit back and watch them implode. Just refrain from quietly fixing all their f ups and make them take ownership of their work. This is much harder than it sounds because it is much easier to jump in and fix it than to watch them create defect after defect after defect. After months and months of not completing anything because they are too busy creating new defects while attempting to fix the old ones, it will very slowly dawn on management that their is a problem. But ONLY if you don't jump in and help them.

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Post ID: @2mv1+CuUo3Ez

This is exactly what's wrong with Intel. I worked there for 6 years and left in 2013 to join another company in the bay area. Never once I had to do this, ever! In fact I left Intel since I was hand twisted to do at least one of these things mentioned in the long list above.

Whoever wrote this (and also who thing this is good advice) deserves to be thrown out right away so Intel can get back on its way. Such a great company is off tracks because of people like you working there.

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Post ID: @2D36+CuUo3Ez

H1B is our least problem - we have disoriented and hyper greedy management, that's our problem - no vision but a lot of hunger for power and money

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Post ID: @2J1u+CuUo3Ez

Anonymous116918 - that's an interesting angle. I wander how many votes someone would be able to win by simply promising that H1B programs will stop. On the other hand, I am sure the heavyhitters such is Intel, Microsoft, IBM would stop supporting their campaigns.

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Post ID: @1pTX+CuUo3Ez

Intel, like most large tech companies, have done more to damage the American society by bringing in so man H1B VISAs, that the America we use to know may never come back. It's time Americans vote for a President who will send those H1B VISA people back to where they came from, bring back manufacturing to the U.S., and tell Americans it's OK to bully around the wicked. It's time!

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Post ID: @1oh5+CuUo3Ez

Great survival kit. Don't trust the Indian management in US either and keep them out of the loop. They will back stab you and hire couple Indians to replace you in AZ. They are a big gang there. Its very well known at Intel.

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Post ID: @1fiV+CuUo3Ez

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