A missing layoff survival guide: Learn from us experts that have already gone through what QC putting you guys through as it gradually replaces each of you domestic counterparts with cheaper offshore workers. 1. Don't write any code comments, or if you do, don't explain how things work 2. Create silos of local work groups and work face to face.. No email on how/what you've done. 3. If overseas teams ask you how to do things, give a broad brush overview, no details. 4. Write more complicated code that is more difficult to understand, provided it does not affect the underlying performance/reliability. 5. Don't write complete design documents. IF you write design documents, write enough to get management to think it's done, but not enough for engineers offshore to do anything useful with it. 6. Occasionally, take a vacation day off on short notice, and let things just "blow up" after you hand off your work to offshore teams. When you come back and things are completely not working, send lots of email about what a terrible job people have done... 7. Always blame problems on offshore teams, no matter how small. 8. Always blame the reason why you problems can't be fixed earlier is because there is a 15+hour timezone difference between headquarters and those remote offices. 9. Hold meetings at times that is convenient for you but in the middle of the night for those offshore teams. 10. Make sure your meetings you conduct locally are as efficient as possible and make your local U.S. totally in sync and ahead of the work schedule before you even meet with the offshore team. That way, it makes them look incompetent. 11. The best meetings are the ones held at 5:00pm PST on Friday, since that will be Saturday overseas, so the ones that most won't show up.And the ones that do show up, end up having to take time off their personal schedule to do it...Make sure this is a reoccurring weekly meeting... 12. At the last minute, reschedule those meetings for the next week (but continue to meet locally and carry on your business). 13. Make sure you send out a meeting notes to senior management, indicating who attended and more importantly, who didn't attend... 14. When someone screws up overseas, always make sure you take the initiative to fix the problem, and make sure you send out 5+ emails telling management how you fixed the problem, describing in extreme detail how things got so screwed up and how you fixed it. And most importantly, if you're going down, you might as well create as much havoc internally inside the company as possible. Nothing is worse more than a company has so much internal conflict that efficiency and productivity comes to a halt..It's 10x worse than any sort of external competition....And that's the predicament corporations and will put the company in when it starts trying to just save on "cost" by offshoring.... TAGS: (document, layoff, outsourcing, documentation, process)
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Here is a random dump of my people invented, mostly here in the States – feel free to keep your yoga and hocus pocus healers for yourself: Chips and Electronics, That computer you're typing on, The software that drives your computer, The Internet, Recorded music, Motion pictures, TV, Radio, Camera (pick any technology or format), Telephone (pick any technology), Light bulb, Automobile, Space Travel, Satellite, Spacecraft, Airplane, Skyscraper, Telescope, Printing press, Eyeglasses, Contact lenses, Microwave, Metallurgy, Plastics, compounds, and pretty much all synthetics), Modern medicine, 99.99% of life saving pharmaceutical drugs, DNA and Genetics, Microscope, Lasers, Electricity (generate/distribute - thank you Tesla), Nuclear energy, Wireless technology, Air Conditioning, Refrigeration, Advanced Agriculture, Democracy, All modern weapons
@ 116432: (1) My salary is paid by a CA Corp. (2) If they have the same skills, that's their problem--not mine. (3) Salary of Sr. Staff offshore is less because skills are lower. (4) Mind you, if management actually conducted reliable studies they would find that quality beats quantity. They would be able to accomplish far more with fewer highly skilled highly paid engineers than a fleet of H1Bs. And at much lower cost. It's called six sigma. Perhaps you've heard of it? (5) Generally, it's more cost effective to locate close to the target market. (6) Majority of earnings at QCOM is being done by management--who are least productive. So such on that. (7) And my people invented algebra and calculus--which our attorneys used to divide property in the ancient equivalent of probate. Compare this with QCOM's attorneys, who are math-impaired, and who lie to judges--dumbasses! (See Broadcom case.) But thank you for playing....
whatever pig do, a knife is waiting...
Look at the time stamp, it was posted here first
To the person,
You are an excellent strategist.. Very well then.. Just so you know
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Ur current salary is being paid from the Offshore sites only
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Offshore guys work at 1/4th your annual gross or even lesser. You guys make $40/hour I am not sure if that would be a day wage in offshore site for an employee!
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Salary of a senior staff in offshore site is less than an engineer makes in US
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Mind u because of the business done by this offshore site, you are getting paid. Else arrogant idiots like you would have been kicked off long back..
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Are you guys ready to move to these offshore sites and work as expats ??
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Majority earning is being done by these offshore sites only.. :P
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Do you really "think" we don't understand the code ?? LOL... we invented "0", we invented "Yoga".... trust me we are capable of understanding and implementing code without comments too!
Focus on the problem. Problem is not offshoring! The SD site looked no less than an offshore site!!
Anyway! all the best.. if every guy does this in US, the company would have been closed looooooooonnnnnnnng time back! :P
To the person,
You are an excellent strategist.. Very well then.. Just so you know
-
Ur current salary is being paid from the Offshore sites only
-
Offshore guys work at 1/4th your annual gross or even lesser. You guys make $40/hour I am not sure if that would be a day wage in offshore site for an employee!
-
Salary of a senior staff in offshore site is less than an engineer makes in US
-
Mind u because of the business done by this offshore site, you are getting paid. Else arrogant idiots like you would have been kicked off long back..
-
Are you guys ready to move to these offshore sites and work as expats ??
-
Majority earning is being done by these offshore sites only.. :P
-
Do you really "think" we don't understand the code ?? LOL... we invented "0", we invented "Yoga".... trust me we are capable of understanding and implementing code without comments too!
Focus on the problem. Problem is not offshoring! The SD site looked no less than an offshore site!!
Anyway! all the best.. if every guy does this in US, the company would have been closed looooooooonnnnnnnng time back! :P
Give him a break. He is just trying to help. However I feel he is not sincere by copy and paste and even change name to Qualcomm...
OP get all credit for posting here... does not matter if its copy/paste,Intel guys did not invent either.
This is very popular strategy and you will find it in many companies board
Awesome copy-paste job from Intel's layoff.com portal! No wonder you are good at ctrl+c/ctrl+v.
Is that how you write your code too?
+1, myself and lot of others are following it undetected for quite some time..It WORKS!
+1
Best post all time.
LOL! Good one.