- Tell em this was just a bad dream and there are no layoffs
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BJ. /thread
Tell them madman CEO is now kicked out. Tell them only part getting the axe is the foundry not product team.
Tell them their colleagues are genuinely nice people.
Tell them their 401k Intel contribution stock is actually in nvidia
Tell them everyone in the Ohio fab held hands and chanted like in “The Acolyte” and suddenly all the tools qual’d and the FFL shot out the EOL and started yielding
Tell them everyone gets a complete day off a week — no need to even check emails
Give them a genAI system that turns speech into technical powerpoints with dancing cats
Tell them their department is switching to 100% industry standard software tools
Tell them their core i9 is being RMA’d
Coffee and Banana are free again
H1Bs are the ones getting laid off
Send them $2000 to spend at the Strip Club