Thread regarding Optum layoffs

TERMS THAT MEAN "WE'RE TIRED OF PAYING YOU, SO BUH-BYE"

(this post is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but if you're here on this board, you need a bit of levity.)

laid off - were you laying ON me before?
let go - was I a hostage?
redundancy - are other MEs doing my work and I didn't realize it?
canned - when did I turn into tuna?
reduction in work-force - are you aiming for work-surrender instead?
downsized - can I still ride the adult rides?
furlough - I'm going on vacation, I guess?
termination - isn't that a contract ki-ler thing?
simplification - was I just too stupid before to understand?
excess reduction - isn't that a diet pill?

here's the conversation with HR you will never have, but probably should have.
"Look, [your name]--it boils down to this. You've been doing your job well. We have no actual complaints. But we offered you too much money before, we're having buyer's remorse, and so we're going to stop paying you now. Remember that in your offer of employment, it was at-will for you and for us. Well,...we no longer will it. Again--not that you did anything wrong. We just don't want to have to pay your wage anymore and we don't want to just figure out a different placement for you. If you can apply for and get a different job within the company, great! If not, well, the years have been fun, so good luck. No hard feelings, right?"

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| 1031 views | | 1 reply (June 17, 2024) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1t4TaqiB

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It's not even that complex:

"You're doing your job well, but the only thing that matters is quarterly results to keep inflating the stock price, so executives can please investors and get huge bonuses. The plan is, and will continue to be, to outsource your job to people in the 3rd world that will take a punishing, abusive job for longer hours, no benefits, and less than 1/2 pay. Until the corruption of the U.S. healthcare system changes, we're going to milk this giant cow for all its worth."

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Post ID: @vwy+1t4TaqiB

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