This is one lame story, a petty story. Or is it?
Certain t-shirts were sent out recently. Call me a sentimental, immature fool if you will but receiving corporate merch was always a special moment for me. It was one of the rare times I allowed myself some pride and self-praise - "Hey, you made it here! You never even dreamt of working here and here you are! Your skills matched!".
Each time I got a delivery, I was opening the envelope with the excitement of a 5 year old on a Christmas morning. This time was no different. I ran the stairs, I felt the warmth in my solar plexus while opening it and.... Wait a minute! This is something different?!?!
What came out was a rag. I couldn't place what was wrong with it for some seconds. "OK, the size is a bit too large, however that's not what's wrong" - my brain was processing - "something is off, what is it, am I imagining things?". I looked at the label. 50% recycled polyester 25% modal 25% organic cotton. "OK, time's are hard" - I said to myself - "and we are helping the environment which is nice." The mental gymnastic still didn't diminish the reality that the fabric combination will make me sweat like a hog in this t-shirt and that renders it unwearable. "Times are hard, we are helping the environment" - I decided to cement that in my mind.
Turns out other colleagues got another batch - cotton. It states so on the label, even though one doesn't really need to check it. You could tell even by looking at it. Guess I was part of the unlucky ones. It is a random chance, I am not taking it personally.
However, I asked myself whether I want to be a part of something that distributes different quality batches to its people?
I don't know what happens with me in 2 weeks. Maybe I get the offer, maybe I get the severance, maybe I get the transition. This lame petty story about a t-shirt made me realize that maybe, just maybe it's time to seek some other company. A company that won't send its employees t-shirts, won't provide EPIC days off, but maybe, just maybe will put its money where its mouth is if they dare speak about inclusion, integrity and so on.
Call me a sentimental immature fool if you will, but maybe, just maybe this t-shirt was the final drop. Not the uncertainty, not the dance on stage during The meeting last month, not the anxious wait for the great employment lottery emails, no. It was this t-shirt.