Customer Obsession
- make employees be late for meetings because they're stuck in traffic on their way to RTO
Ownership
- blame employees for productivity losses when they RTO. Reach unregretted attrition targets.
Invent and Simplify
- don't use employee feedback data, pretend RTO is the answer - one size fits all
Are Right, A Lot
- Bad grammar - need a noun! Amazon plunged 51% in 2022. 18000 layoffs. More employees leaving.
Learn and Be Curious
- Try a naive RTO and watch how many employees voluntarily leave for WFH!
Hire and Develop the Best
- Prepare so many well-qualified employees for their next employer after the RTO takes effect!
Insist on the Highest Standards
- Make employees pay out of their pockets for their RTO commute
Think Big
- Think of all the hospitals that will benefit when employees are physically attacked by lunatics and catch COVID during RTO madness.
Bias for Action
- Don't consult HR or employees. Like the layoffs, just "announce" RTO.
Frugality
- Rather than selling offices and breaking leases for cash, pay to maintain offices.
Earn Trust
- Contradict yourself about your previous posture on RTO. Use carefully planted questions for All Hands meetings.
Dive Deep
- Only consult your inner circle (S-Team) about the effect of RTO.
Have Backbone; Disagree and Commit
- Contradict yourself about your previous posture on RTO. Lie to your employees about your intentions.
Deliver Results
- Tell your shareholders how AMAZING your OPEX reductions are after layoffs and RTO attrition.
Strive to be Earth’s Best Employer
- 'Best' in terms of layoff counts (18000+) and RTO-attributed attrition - yes!
Success and Scale Bring Broad Responsibility
- The more you scale RTO, the more RTO-attributed attrition you will get! And then hire after the hiring pause and repeat.