Below nineteen it closed, a sad IPO echo,
Back to 2017, where the glory days go.
Pega verdict overturned—dreams dashed on the floor,
Yet they strut into NYC, begging for more.
Investor Day dawns with AI sparkle and spin,
Denial in full bloom: “We’re totally gonna win!”
No prudent path, no debt-payoff pause,
They’re buying back stock without good cause.
Double down, dear Appian, on that futile crusade—
Process and copium, the legacy parade!
The glory days over, the chart in full rust…
Tomorrow’s the show—enjoy the last thrust!
2 replies (most recent on top)
That Investor Day session was an absolute crash-and-burn moment. Hearing “Appian customers run billions of processes every month” made me wonder what fantasy calculator they used to come up with that number. But hey, if the pitch that guy gave can convince investors, maybe I really should move forward with my plan to sell ice to Eskimos and make millions.
And the AI sermon. Apparently the billions being invested into AI by companies like Salesforce, Oracle, and Pega aren’t “serious AI.” Nope - only Appian AI is the real "serious" deal. What a joke.
At some point, you have to stop relabeling decade-old ideas with shiny new AI packaging and pretending it’s "innovation". Appian in a nutshell : Take what was trendy 10 years ago, slapping on a new label, and reselling it as the future.. What's next? Assembly is the new cool low code?
Talk about beating a dead horse. Appian is trying to sell expired milk to investors and calling it the “next big thing.”
Man, I really feel for those investors.