🚨 Introducing Our New Senior Leader Management Guide 🚨
“If you can’t lead… just list.”
Why waste years developing leadership skills when you can simply do the Optum method, rules for thee and not me.
Step 1: Lead with Lists
Not sure what your team does? Perfect. You’re exactly who this guide is for.
Just make a list. Lists = leadership. It’s basically the same thing.
Step 2: Stop Meeting Your Team
Historically, leaders wasted countless hours talking to employees, understanding workflows, and building trust.
Thankfully, we’ve evolved and are 100x
As a leader, you already know what’s happening. Why verify? That sounds like work.
Step 3: Need More Collaboration? Easy.
Create a list of people who don’t come into the office, don’t worry you don’t need to fly into town to check we can use AI to send you.
Bo-m—collaboration problem solved.
Step 4: Eliminate “Old Leadership” Habits
In the past, being effective required showing up, engaging, and making hard decisions.
Now? Just update the list, you never need to come to town, or if you are low level leader you can just stay in your fish-tank office, no need to actually meet the team.
Step 5: AI Adoption Strategy
Becoming an AI-first company is simple:
- Say “we are an AI company” in every meeting
- Tell your team you don’t computer but they will make us an AI company and AI is the future
- Add anyone who doesn’t “AI” to a list
- Do not define “AI”
And don’t worry if you can send an email or use AI to write a sentence you are the leaders we are looking for! —
true leadership is about vision, not ability or knowledge .
Step 6: Performance Management
Forget nuanced feedback.
Just categorize people into:
- On the List
- About to be on the List
- Doesn’t know they’re on the List yet
Step 7: Communication Excellence
Why overcomplicate messaging?
Every announcement can be summarized as:
“Per my last list…”
Step 8: Strategic Planning
Q1 Goal: Make a list
Q2 Goal: Refine the list
Q3 Goal: Make a new list
Q4 Goal: Wonder why nothing improved (add self to list, just kidding leader don’t go on these lists)
Remember: leadership isn’t about people, context, or outcomes.
It’s about maintaining a clean, well-organized list.
Leaders stay safe in your offices or if we care about you remote.