Thread regarding SAS Institute layoffs

50 years

The sun began to set over the 50 year anniversary celebration as the band filled the air with a steady rhythm that kept the energy high. Near the edge of the lawn, the televangelist was busy handing out free books for the upcoming book club meeting, while BH moved through the crowd offering spray tan samples to anyone looking for a quick glow. Over at the photo booth, members of the art department worked tirelessly to frame every photo as soon as it was taken so that everyone had a memento to carry.
Suddenly, the music faded and Big Jim stepped up to the microphone. A hush fell over the crowd. He looked out at the gathered employees, his most valuable asset, and announced that he was liquidating the company effective immediately. He explained that the spoils would be divided equally among every single employee of the company, though Company Man would receive 10x shares in recognition of his unwavering loyalty on this website. As the crowd began to process the news, a massive display of fireworks erupted in the sky to mark the end of the company and the beginning of the next chapter.


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Post ID: @OP+1km4a2gs4

7 replies (most recent on top)

"...as the band filled the air with a steady rhythm that kept the energy high."
Was the band KC and the Sunshine band? Did KC perform "Please Don't Go"?

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Post ID: @1e0+1km4a2gs4

Just when everyone thought the fireworks were the grand finale, a surprise guest stepped onto the stage. The Big German. He traded the spectacle for a quiet, acoustic set of Beatles classics. The energy shifted instantly; people started swaying, pulling their loved ones close, until the whole crowd eventually joined in for a massive, soulful sing-along to "Imagine" to close out the night.
The employees were in tears. There was no IPO, but their financial future was secured.

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Post ID: @1dy+1km4a2gs4

@zr I can comprehend it. The answer is the very hugest of losers.

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Post ID: @10d+1km4a2gs4

I can’t comprehend how big of a loser you have to be to post this.

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Post ID: @zr+1km4a2gs4

You must wear a Birthday Suit to enter The Photographer’s booth.

Ladies move to the front of the line! For best results, manicure your shrubbery!

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Post ID: @e5+1km4a2gs4

@a4 Maybe that won't be the best comment but it darned sure is the best appetite suppressant! Bravo!!!

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Post ID: @d7+1km4a2gs4

The photographer will be back on campus and running the Photo Booth, lol.

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Post ID: @a4+1km4a2gs4

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