Thread regarding Phillips 66 layoffs

Fireside Chats aren’t all lame

Scene: Corporate office conference room. A banner reads “Forward Together.” It’s hanging slightly crooked.

EMPLOYEE:
Mr. Go-Go, thanks for sitting down with me. Employees have some questions about the company’s direction over the last few years.

GO-GO:
Of course. Transparency is very important to leadership. That’s why my office door has a window.

EMPLOYEE:
Some people feel like the company went from an industry leader to… well… struggling a bit.

GO-GO:
I wouldn’t say struggling. I’d say we’ve entered a period of strategic unpredictability.

EMPLOYEE:
Right. And some employees think leadership decisions might have played a role.

GO-GO:
Impossible. Leadership can’t cause problems. Leadership is what fixes problems. That’s basic leadership.

EMPLOYEE:
One concern I keep hearing about is the risk of employees talking about unionizing.

GO-GO:
Ah yes, unionization. We’ve studied that extensively.

EMPLOYEE:
What did you conclude?

GO-GO:
That employees tend to talk about unions when they’re unhappy.

EMPLOYEE:
That sounds… concerning.

GO-GO:
Not really. Our solution is simple.

EMPLOYEE:
What’s that?

GO-GO:
We encourage employees not to be unhappy.

EMPLOYEE:
Another topic people mention is moving operations away from places like Bartlesville, which some say has been keeping the company afloat.

GO-GO:
Yes, we’re very proud of our strategy there.

EMPLOYEE:
Could you explain it?

GO-GO:
Certainly. Bartlesville has been very reliable for decades. Which means it’s clearly time to move away from it.

EMPLOYEE:
Why would reliability be a problem?

GO-GO:
Complacency. If something works too well for too long, people start expecting it to keep working.

EMPLOYEE:
So the plan is to move resources away from places that are performing well?

GO-GO:
Exactly. Leadership is about bold moves.

EMPLOYEE:
Even if they don’t make sense?

GO-GO:
Especially then. Those are the moves people remember.

EMPLOYEE:
Some employees say the company culture has become dysfunctional.

GO-GO:
I disagree completely.

EMPLOYEE:
You do?

GO-GO:
Yes. Dysfunction requires coordination, and we have very little of that.

EMPLOYEE:
What about morale?

GO-GO:
Morale is very important. That’s why we measure it every year.

EMPLOYEE:
What happens after you measure it?

GO-GO:
We measure it again the next year.

EMPLOYEE:
So what’s your plan to turn things around?

GO-GO:
Simple. We’re forming a task force.

EMPLOYEE:
To fix the problems?

GO-GO:
No, to identify the appearance of problems.

EMPLOYEE:
And then what?

GO-GO:
Then we’ll form another task force to determine whether the first task force should have existed.

EMPLOYEE:
Well… that sounds thorough.

GO-GO:
Leadership always is.

EMPLOYEE:
One last question. Are you confident in the company’s future?

GO-GO:
Absolutely.

EMPLOYEE:
Why’s that?

GO-GO:
Because if things get any worse, expectations will be much easier to exceed.

EMPLOYEE:
That’s… surprisingly reassuring.

GO-GO:
Thank you. Confidence is the cornerstone of leadership.

EMPLOYEE:
Well Mr. Go-Go, I appreciate your time.

GO-GO:
Anytime. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an important meeting.

EMPLOYEE:
About fixing the company?

GO-GO:
No. About changing the banner in this room to say “Strategic Excellence.”

I think it will really boost morale.

(Credit GBT) someone please make a short out of this!!! lol


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| 11 views | | 8 replies (last March 25) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1kky5xs7d

8 replies (most recent on top)

@1er, @14r here. Thank you very much for the new ideas to pretend I’m busy!! I really appreciate it!!
You’re not your -2 spelling.

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Post ID: @1f5+1kky5xs7d

@14r oh look at the big assumptions 14r made. “Air clap”! How do you know a male wrote the post? Thats some big city telepathy. You should only use your special powers for good. Now get back to your sprint or brainstorming session or whatever it is you do to look like your doing something.

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Post ID: @1er+1kky5xs7d

You must be from Bartlesville. Afloat? How so?

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Post ID: @1dv+1kky5xs7d

@bj, I agree, the original poster has too much time on his hands. He should write shorter posts and use the remaining extra time to fine tune his LinkedIn profile, communicate with recruiters, and maybe get a short after lunch nap.

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Post ID: @14r+1kky5xs7d

OMG, this is priceless. And while taken to the extreme, this is exactly what it feels like.

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Post ID: @fd+1kky5xs7d

This is weird. The ELT says enough stupid sh-t you shouldn't have to make things up to get outraged at.

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Post ID: @em+1kky5xs7d

@bj Yeah, it’s amazing what you can do when you don’t confuse busy with productive. I match the pace set by leadership. If making that statement helps you make sense of it though, good for you. You obviously have the “Go”!

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Post ID: @dz+1kky5xs7d

Too much time on your hands.

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Post ID: @bj+1kky5xs7d

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