Dell is hiring and looking for upper management in the Senior Director, VP and SVP roles!
Qualifications:
• You just need to listen to your presidents and c-suites and do everything they say!
• You need to be soulless.
• Zero technical abilities.
• Be able to talk well and use lots of buzz words, for example "Agentic AI".
• You need to be a great liar, in fact the better you can lie right to someone’s face the better qualified you will be!
• You need to be able to talk about things like transparency, driving results and doing nothing to drive those forwards.
• You need to be able to gaslight well. For example, getting a low eNPS score isn't your fault, it would be the fault of the rest of the people around you! They're just not "all in"!
• You need to be a sociopath and psychopath. You must have no empathy for others and be able to disassociate yourself entirely from anything and anyone.
• You must be able to lay people off for absolutely no reason at all. Then love how you laid them off and be happy to keep a job!
• You must be willing to do anything for a dollar. If that means even self-humiliation, then so be it.
• You must have no morality or ethical value
• You must choose Dell over your family or anything else and truly believe you are doing something amazing, when what you do is not that important at all (it's not like you are curing cancer or solving any real-world problems).
Education:
None. In fact, we love the uneducated.
Location:
Somewhere we can easily manipulate you and make it seem critically important for you to come to an office, when it really doesn’t matter.
If you or someone else you know is fits the above reach out to JC or MD right away!
TEll ME I'M WRONG