i work at meta. hr systems. mostly comp processing. quiet job. stable. sometimes i daydream about retiring in portugal.
today a package hit my queue. base + bonus + equity. looks normal at first glance. then i open the details.
$1,000,000,000
over four years.
plus signing.
plus year 1 minimum: $100m.
i stare at it like it’s a typo. check the name. triple check the level. researcher.
coolcoolcool. so now i have to enter this into workday.
i paste the first number, field throws an error.“value must be below $99,999,999.”
lol. okay. i try splitting it. base in one bucket, equity in another. nope. i try scientific notation. it rounds it down.
the system can’t HANDLE a billion dollars.
i call someone on payroll infra. tell them i’ve got a 10-digit comp packet. they think i’m joking. i forward the req. they go quiet.
“we’re gonna need to escalate this,” someone mutters.
“to who?” i ask.
“god, maybe.”
next thing i know zuck’s chief of staff is in the thread. now i’m in a thread with zuck. because of a number.
then i find out the guy declined the offer.
just said no. no negotiation. no counter. just… no.
i’ve been maxing out my 401k for 11 years & this man said no to a billion dollars like he was skipping dessert.
i close the ticket. delete the draft.
go for a walk.
& then i rethink everything.