Tom is THE ultimate CEO—mainly because he's consistent at everything! Under his visionary leadership, BD stock has been as steady as a seesaw on a calm day for the past five years. You gotta give him credit for that consistency, folks! And let's not forget, layoffs are consistent too—like clockwork! His DEI hires are consistent, his choice of leaders is consistent... it's like he's trying to win a prize for 'Most Consistent CEO Ever.'
Now, all his DEI hires are burning the midnight oil to upvote and downvote with the precision of a finely tuned orchestra. It's like they're in a high-stakes game of 'Reputation Rescue,' where the goal is to save Tom's image from itself.