Without the work environment giving the green light, providing the license to unbridled mistreatment, bullying wouldn't happen. So here are some tips.
1 - It’s not you- Everyone that has dealt with this Director feels the same way. This person has a talent at making you feel like it’s your fault. It’s not!
2- Understand that most times this Director has no idea what to ask. Don’t let incompetence frustrate you. Stay calm and firm
3-Push Back! Bullies retreat when confronted.
4- You are not alone! Everyone sees it and feels it. Again it’s not you!
5- Be patient- Most aggressive leaders at this company usually trip over their own sword
6- Take care of your health- When made to feel like cr-p- take a deep breath, your mental health is far more important than any incompetent bully.
7- Smile and reach across departments. Everyone on this team has dealt with this one time or another. Don’t be afraid to share your experiences. There is comfort in knowing that this is an equal opportunity bully.
8- TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH- This is becoming a workplace safety concern. At what point does the safety department step in? If an unsafe condition were happening anywhere else at Enbridge. Health and Safety would be all over it.
9- Ask for help if your mental health is suffering. Workplace bullying has a negative effect on mental health specially when the bully is someone in a position of power.
17 replies (most recent on top)
Complaining about bullying may make you feel better but it won’t solve the problem. Just shutting up and taking it won’t make you feel very good and once again it won’t solve the problem. Nobody gets up in the morning and says I think I’ll be a bully today. Bullies like everyone else are just trying to satisfy their own interests. You need to identify what those interests are and figure out how to get the bully to see that their behaviour is not going to get them where they want to go. Yes in the short term it might make them feel powerful or satisfy some other sadistic desire but it is bound to conflict with and sabotage one or more of their long term goals. You need to figure out how to get this point across to them. It won’t likely be easy and it may take a few tries but in the long run it is the only effective way to solve the problem. I retired after 50 years working at large companies (including Enbridge) and one thing I learned is that HR is powerless and at best disinterested. You need to take personal responsibility to solve this problem. If you are a part of a group of people that are being similarly oppressed then bring it up and brainstorm to discover how the behaviour is not going to work for this person and how to make them see this. Keep it positive and focused on working up an approach, don’t let it degenerate into a birch session. You will likely get some good ideas and you can work together to change the persons behaviour. Too bad you can’t just wave a magic wand (or report the problem) and have go away. It is wrong but the world isn’t fair you just have to treat it like weather or gravity and find a way to work with it. Finally taking time to understand why this person is behaving as they are can help you to see your self more clearly and prevent you from doing the same things if you are ever promoted to management. I’ve been on all sides of it and people’s behaviour is always a product of their immediate and accumulated experience. Best of luck in this opportunity for personal growth.
Love the philosophical rant. Join us in the real world vs. a University lecture hall. Your post made me laugh in the office. You are a loser.
Low quality thinking from low quality people. I sincerely hope that nobody ever deems your actions worthy of such a response. After all, it doesn't matter if you don't think you deserve such treatment. It only matters that the posted thinks it. In your biblical style of outrage and retribution, remember that an "eye for an eye" is not a call to vengeance, it's a plea for proportionality. Few things are deserving of such permanent slander in the public sphere, and this isn't one of them.
Grow up.
Taking the high road and talking to HR perpetuates the problem. Get real. HR doesn't care. Their job is to hire and defend bullies. Stand up and assert yourself. You'd be surprised how much flex you have. If you can't do that, resort to the post far below about posting online. Hook the bully outing into my veins.
Cute lecture below about taking the high road. Being a workplace bully will eventually catch to to them in some fashion. Social media has made things very interesting, so if you are an a*shole at work... don't be surprised if you are exposed or slandered online. And don't play victim.
Rule #1: Don't be an a*shole.
Problem solved.
To 6pfr+1jlb75fY or Dr Freud or Anonymous
I should have put LOL at the end of my comment. I thought they were being sarcastic so i was doing the same. In no way do i promote such behaviors.
Doesn't take Freud to recognize poor quality of thought.
Last poster is triggered! Why you raging? They didnt need your assessment of their personality Dr Freud
Best advice? Alright, if demonstrating yourself to be along the bottom of humanity is your goal. Who you really are at heart is revealed in adversity.
Destroying somebody's life because you perceive work related mistreatment isn't even infantile. It's simply shows you to be a fundamentally poor quality person at your core. No amount of mental meandering will change that.
Don't pretend to yourself it's the moral high ground. It's deeper in the muck.
"If you can't advocate for yourself with a high profile bully, open a bottle of wine and ruin their reputation online"
Probably the best advice i have ever seen in this forum.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Clearly this individual is not suited to be in a position of leadership, let alone people leadership. This person does not fit. Nothing wrong with not being the right fit. Problem is that this wrong fit is damaging this company, this department and the people that work there. The wrong fit is also creating a toxic environment where people feel undervalued, bullied, made to feel inadequate and insecure. This is the wrong fit for this Director, but DO NOT resort to what the latest post suggested. An eye for an eye will make the world blind. This is an HR issue that has gone unchecked by the leadership group, Has been allowed to continue despite multiple calls to HR. My exit interview was very poignant and direct as to the reason I was leaving . Sad to see peoples mental health is now impacted over someone clearly placed in the wrong job. My advice, do not let this persons lack of leadership make you feel inadequate and undervalued. Hang in there! This is a great company, but unfortunately it has a habit on slapping on the title of “people leader” to anyone with some technical skills.
If you can't advocate for yourself with a high profile bully, open a bottle of wine and ruin their reputation online, CIA style. Create fake social media profiles and post questionable and borderline awful things under their name. Post fake Google reviews, post on news article websites, sign up their work email to naughty or spam mass emails. Really be creative. Bullying may last a few moments but the internet is forever.
Excellent points. Some comments.
- Bullies always have unresolved or current trauma and project their insecurity and hurt on others. It's very rarely ever your fault or about you.
- Push back and set boundaries with bullies but also read the room. If the individual is in a position of power it is almost futile to push back depending on how pathetic they are.
- Mental health is #1 There is always a trickle down effect that could harm your reputation and also your family. Never self medicate with substances.
Prior to Enbridge, I worked for an upstream company and shortly after my Lead took maternity leave, we were passed on to our Team Lead for supervision (loose term with this guy) and he was an absolute bully. I knew the writing was on the wall with me (should have waited for a package) but I walked in to his office and sent an e-mail to HR, resigned and left without the two weeks or exit interview. Left high and dry and they were treading water for a few months. Was hired shortly after at a competing company who supported me. Did I feel guilty for leaving some of the better team members like that? Yep, but life is short and you need to look after yourself, full stop like the OP articulated. It was joy when a few months later he was dismissed due to HR and fellow colleagues wondering why a performer would suddenly resign. He had a reputation and fell on his sword. Industry is a small place and he is essentially blacklisted from downtown O&G now and commutes to Red Deer each day. End justifies the means.
If the manager is a bully, unfortunately there's very little the company or HR will do. Raising the issue will bring a fight you can't win, and there's nobody to back you up.
All of the required means to bring attention to this has already been done. Decision makers are turning a big blind eye. In the meantime turnover will continue and peoples mental health will continue to deteriorate. What will it take for something to be done? A mental health crisis? A mental health tragedy?
TIS mindset has always been "we didn't sc--w up, we just built to YOUR specification, you can't explain OR don't know what you want"
This group (TIS for now) has rebranded itself for years. The former best moniker/Acronym this group had at one time was MIS. That seemed to sum it up, almost always ( industry standard at one time was 80% rate of failure ) a big MISS.
Call the ethics line.