Anonymous Reuters: “Dutch court argues divestment will not do anything for the climate. Reprimands Shell for deceiving public that it has shown goodwill towards the previous court order. Orders Shell to cease production and plug and abandon all wells on their lands. Also orders Shell to object to any nov well and not facilitate the commercialization of drilling right by others. Order Shell to build wind and solar farms instead. Orders Shell to stop mocking the Court order.”
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LOL
Extree! Extree! "Reuters does not run spellcheck before gong to press! Forgets to use subjects in news reports! Change verb tense, sentence fragment to sentence fragment!"
I get better drafted hoax emails from Russkies demanding Bitcoin or they will embarrass me for something. Your satire is well taken though and clever.