A lot of couples are going now for divorce, I guess, pandemic is part of this but compound life and surroundings had also their part.
7 replies (most recent on top)
Nah the humanity of the typical expat is just garbage and of course their marriages will end up as trash. Years ago I knew a group of swingers in camp (mostly Latinos and Europeans) after that nothing surprises me. The other thing is how much Aramcons tend to lie to themselves. Be smart and do not come here.
Great question!!!! I would say YES! As said previously, "happy wife, happy life."
Saudi does amplify any problems in your marriage or shortcomings in your personality that keep you from being happy. My wife and I were very happy before moving to Saudi. However, her shortcomings made things difficult for her. Being in Saudi made her an unhappy individual, therefore, the family suffered. We've been back for a year and she's still bitter about life. We will probably end up in D-court.
If you wife has any of the following issues, save your marriage and don't move to Saudi.
- if she is not generally a happy/positive person.....don't go.
- if she tends to complain about minor issues.....don't go.
- if she wants to keep up for the Jones' / materialistic.....don't go.
- if she can't entertain herself (and the kids).....don't go.
- if she tends to pi-s-off her friends.....don't go.
- if she does not like being a housewife or a stay at home mom......don't go
- if she isn't patient.....don't go.
- if she is easily bored.....don't go.
- if she isn't a flexible person.....don't go.
- if she's a day dreamer and can't focus on the "here and now".....don't go.
- if she's the type where "the grass is always greener on the other side"....don't go.
- AND if her first language is Russian.....don't go.
Forgive me if I sound bitter.....maybe I am. I enjoyed my time in Saudi, however, my wife made it much less enjoyable.
I found that the wives who were steadfast in their belief in God (especially Christian and Mormon) and accepted their role in the home, did very well. I am sure this isn't a hard and fast rule, but it is my observation.
If you go and your wife becomes unhappy, move back. Don't count on marriage counselors at John Hopkins. The counselors are booked 3-6 months in advance and have their plates full with Saudi women who miss sleeping with their best friends/same s-x cousins (but of course they will never admit to being g-y or bi). And yes, your appointment will most likely be delayed a couple times because you are being bumped for a Saudi.
Happy wife, Happy life, I always said. Sometimes, the man gets obsessed with saving money as this is often primary reason for taking job. But some of the savings need to be spent to keep Mrs happy. Vacations, trips to Bah, nice clothes, etc, even if things do cost more in KSA. Don’t be a cheapskate when you are in KSA with family is my advice. Otherwise married life can get edgy. If you are on your own by all means live a miserable cheap life if that’s what you want.
My own personal observation over many years was less divorce v what I saw back in Europe. Though lately I understand the covid restrictions are not easy on people.
If there are problems in the marriage before you live in Saudi, the problems will be amplified once you move and live there a few months. In addition, if you have aging parents, sick siblings, or kids in boarding school or college and travel restrictions due to COVID-19 then stress levels will be exponentially increased causing more marital strife. Of course, the on-camp spouse swapping parties can broaden your horizons...
The pandemic restrictions relating to travel especially probably hasn't helped!
Interesting question. The divorce rate is high. A lot of people end up in Aramco because they’ve previously made bad choices especially bad financial choices. People don’t typically move to Saudi if they’re happy with life in the US. So is the divorce rate high because of expat life or is it high because a lot of people come in on shaky ground? I don’t know. Probably some of both.
An interesting idea. Living an expat life is stressful. Working for Aramco is stressful. Living in KSA is stressful. All additional stressors above a couple's normal base level. I knew of quite a few couples that went through the big D there in my 17 year stint. Though I can't make a case for direct correlation, between being at Aramco and experiencing divorce, there does seem to be a bit of an anomaly there.
I always heard 'If mama ain't happy here, no one is'.