Great news! Management today announced that they will sanction a major new greenfield project in the Gulf of Mexico (GOM). The project will be named No Hope and will be located in the PowerPoint (PP) area of the GOM in a water depth of way over your head.
The discovery well PP365#1 was drilled to the depth of despair and underwent a flow test which produced 5000 PowerPoint Slides per Day (PPSPD) along with associated study groups.
Plans for the area include up to ten producing wells tied back to the new build No Hope floating facility which will have a throughput capacity of 100,000 PPSPD. “This is a great opportunity for the company, employees and shareholders” it was announced.
14 replies (most recent on top)
Sounds like you are really getting to know the company now.
Hey Oxy whiner, what exactly do you want us to get on board with? Get on board with the worst management team I've ever known in my career, who does not communicate with their employees? Get on board with a culture which is counter-productivity and counter-excellence? Get on board with a company that can't decide which assets to sell and to keep, which employees to cut and to keep, and flip-flops based on the changing of the winds each day? Get on board with wasted and worthless and endless meetings and PP presentations and BS discussions? Get on board with no actual work being done, because Oxy screwed the pooch and spent their wad on a whole lot of west Texas acreage due to the Anadarko purchase? I have yet to see or hear a single reason to get on board. People get on board with companies which talk the talk and walk the walk, and provide reasons for people to get on board. Not companies which treat their employees like cattle, like Oxy. Until Oxy demonstrates a reason for me to truly get on board (and no, whiners on this site don't do that), I will simply trade my working hours for the paycheck and lack of a promising future here. Nothing more.
Ha! Wish Chazen would read this. He was always anti-meeting, and if there was a meeting you had better get to the meat within the first 3 slides!
But those days of crushing the peer group performance year after year are long gone. Sigh.
Hay arrogance complainer. This is simply a healthy way to vent. Never before has the GOM been required to make so many emergency PPT’s destined for the “nobody ever sees this” cloud. Many times for meetings in which the intended audience no-shows.
Holy master slides Batman! This is awesome.
You guys are just never going to get onboard are you. This is a tough environment, but to have jokers like you really hurts the company. Great attitude guys, and just another example of the Anadarko arrogance a lot of you seem to be stuck with.
Drilling Update.
Further to the previous communication the company wishes to share some further information on the drilling results for PP365#1. The well was drilled and tested using the Dell Deepwater Latitude. Samples of the slides were sent for assay and the study groups flared off. There was a significant BS dome which required special under balanced drilling techniques before accessing the primary objective Middle Microsoft sand with a 250 foot interval and then through a Lower Microsoft sand with a 75 foot interval. The Middle Microsoft showed a large accumulation of PowerPoint slides and the Lower Microsoft showed an accumulation of high pressure Teams meetings. It is planned the development wells will be smart completions and will eventually comingle the PowerPoint slides and the Teams meetings. “This is an outstanding reservoir” the company announced.
I can’t stop rereading this and laughing. Then sobbing briefly. Then laughing again. You have peered into our souls.
“Drilled to the depth of despair”. Gotta admit. That’s pretty funny.
To the Young Geologist:
There are pros...GOM doesn’t have the steep decline curves and is never at risk having to explain why it’s not a ponzi scheme.
I don’t know who you are but I’m certain we know each other IRL and this has me ROFL. (Using millennial acronyms to throw off the scent)
Ha! Sounds like a plan!
I am a young geologist soon to be transferred into GOM. I heard most experienced folks are out due COC or VSP, leases are expiring, not much we can do with the 14 new blocks we got, drilling contractors are going bankrupt, no budget has been allocated. Anything else I missed? Prospects of professional growth here?
Haven't laughed this much since reading that Motley Fool article about Chevron coming out on top of the Anadarko purchase calamity and all Oxy could come back with was 'Send in the clowns' 'Development Engineers' for West Texas/New Mexico.