I got laid off all of a sudden. And I come to find all the people I used to bond with at lunch Participate in their baby shower gift contributions etc.. all of a sudden act like I don't exist.
All I get when I email them is a good luck with everything. It really stings that I thought these people were my friends. I feel like I let my guard down around them now. Although two people I worked with agreed to give me a good reference.
Anyone else experience this or deal with this?
My Dev team running on fumes. Deadlines not aligned with resources and work. Avoid incoming personal calls and breaks AMAP.
I think most of the long-term survivors have the business equivalent of both PTSD and Survivors Guilt.
Notice how in the last year or two they've started publicly stating "Hey take some time out to be healthy" and pushed the Employee Assistance Program so much - a lot of people are completely burnt-out at this point and pretty much numb to everything so they can't afford to lose key players to mental breakdowns.
I often think the left over team have survivors guilt.
Sad to hear this, but not surprising. Most people left have seen so many layoffs they are just numb.
Why not just wait until the person is laid off, then try to contact them?
Def don’t take it personal. They’re freaking out wondering if they are next. It’s a great way to quickly figure out who your true friends are. There’s no better test. Anyone else from your team let go?
@1tmk+15hRD0xk - "I've never found many of the people at Allscripts to be terribly friendly in the first place."
You're going to find what you're going to find and you're going to find it anywhere you work. I've found most of the people I've worked with to be sociable enough, and I've met some of the best people I've ever known here at Allscripts. I've also met some complete sphincters, and even some outright sociopaths. I'm sure that many working groups get all cliquey and don't seem inviting to outsiders at first as well - and if you're a newcomer, well they just don't know you.
Like anywhere and everywhere, there's no specific race of "Allscripts People" out there - we're all just... people. We're a pretty broad slice of humanity and you're gonna get all kinds.
A lot of what you get is based on what you bring to the table - honey often works better than vinegar. Also keep in mind that there are still a lot of "Allscripts Veterans" who have been in the trenches for years in what can only be described as an environment composed of 90% stress, watching their friends get axed, watching the dysfunction grow, and as others have said just trying to survive. They are probably just as friendly as anyone else, but they're not just going to be your best friend on Day One. Remember that this is a job, and a lot of us are still here to Work - this isn't a social club or Facebook.
I made some lifelong friends during my time there, but to honest, I'm not the most networked and in-touch person in the world either. Physical distance and life moving on happens. It's not personal, and as others have said, you may not have been in a good position to make a connection with others due to stress/work/age/personality/whatever.
I have a long list of people who I wouldn't have a problem going out to lunch with or some similar light social interaction, but I also don't have much interaction with them outside of some sporadic social media contact - which is fine for me.
There are a few people, very few, who I'll reach out to check up on them. Example - I have one guy I worked with for over six years who always took the time to connect with me and sync up on stuff - he got let go a few years ago during another meaningless RIF - and we stayed in touch afterwards. Since I moved a few years back, I would go visit him off-hours during business trips to the office we used to share, and would still do that if I ever get back up there again. But it's an email here, a phone call once or twice a year, nothing crazy - as time goes on, we have less in common than before and the communication is slowing down. But I still would take the guy out for a steak, shoot the breeze, and have a conversation with him if the opportunity arose - he's just not part of my daily life anymore. It's sad, but that's the way life works a lot, even when you have a fairly deep bond with some people.
I've never found many of the people at Allscripts to be terribly friendly in the first place. There are a number of older women in our group who seem more concerned about organizing team get togethers than actually working. And then they use the outings for collecting gossip. Much of it is like high school.
I’m sorry to hear your experience. I’ve been doing the opposite and trying to help even though I’ve since moved on. Kindness matters.
I was laid off in April and I noticed I've actually grown closer to several in my "lay-off group" (those laid off same time as me)... we can all related to each other and have been helping each other in our job search. But I agree on the "friends" who are still at Allscripts. They are not as friendly as they were when we worked together. They don't want to talk about work, and I don't trust them as I used to either. I don't tell them where I've applied for jobs but I'll share that with my lay-off group. I agree with what someone else said- I think they're in survivor mode. I also think that -they think - we (lay-off-group) wish ill will on them but that's not true. I was bitter at first, feeling I'm much more qualified than some of those still there, etc. but this wasn't their decision either so my feelings were misplaced and I've moved on now.
Don’t take it personal. I experience similar even though I left on my own terms. Seemed like people were bitter they were still stuck at Allscripts dealing with the same nonsense as always day in, day out while I had moved on to greener pastures.
Yes this happened to me as well. They are afraid of catching whatever you had that got you put in your position of being let go. They are in survival mode. So much stress these days they don’t have ability to be more than what they appear. Don’t take it personally some will come back and touch base but you’ll not have the same experience or relationships again. Chalk it up to good memories and move forward. Hold onto what is worth holding into, let go of what isn’t helping you move forward. You will be many steps ahead of them.
Completely agree but it wasn’t unexpected. People who still work at Allscripts need to remember that 1) recent RIF has had nothing to do with performance 2) their number could be next 3) who knows we might find an even better position and we may help when needed. Bottom line - be nice and don’t be mean
For what it’s worth, I’m close to retirement these days, but I don’t find people in the work space these days really trust people they work with, like they did 35 years ago. They play the the game of being a team player when in reality the work place in most companies is back stabbing, and what have you done for me lately. Loyalty is very uncommon these days. I work in a municipal job where is not as bad as the private sector but still not great. It’s been along time since I worked for a company where management truly had a interest in the lives of their employees, my wife says the same of her experiences. That’s where it all starts it filters down. I know how I felt at the end of my days at allscripts it was self preservation you become disengaged with the personal side of the people you work with. Most definitely more so in more companies today.
There could be a few things going on.
If there are friends, they are in shock and don't know what to say.
Then there are those that have been through a lot of turnover such as layoffs and do not like to actually get close to people.
And there are those that don't mix work and personal life.
Yes, very much so. It's sad that people I'd spent so much time with both in work and outside of work act like I don't exist.