Thread regarding General Electric Co. layoffs

A Recent Lean and Six Sigma Event Solution

Hey team Larry Culpable called me back for a big event in the beautiful new HQ I built in Boston. I was really good a building research centers around the globe and ensuring each business had hard earned cash siphoned off to support them to create solutions that nobody wanted. But let me get to the point. (I would normally do this in a beautifully crafted PowerPoint that took several hundred man hours to create, but times are tough.)

Anyway, our Executive solution to the aviation crisis we came up with was for everyone to have their own personal business jet, and here’s the real zinger! We then have an empty one follow you so that if the first one has trouble the second one is right there!

We can sell more engines and parts and recover quickly. And I would ask for comments, but since I am the smartest guy in the room it is not necessary.

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| 3131 views | | 12 replies (last May 23, 2020) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+14RsoQlP

12 replies (most recent on top)

Hi team! I thought I would come out of obscurity and offer my assistance for my predecessor TwoJets and my successor Mr. Culpable. Oh, and by the way, hello to Raghu. I am smiling more! Even in this time of a Great Depression and the dire straits of a once great company! But after evaluating the "spare jet" idea, I have come to the conclusion that this will pull us out of the red and into prosperity.

So I am offering to setup a Live Broadcast to propose this idea to all of our major investors and our loyal employees. Those left anyway. As everyone knows, I am an expert at making light of a horrible situation. I know how to laugh and joke while a Dynasty crumbles. Well, it's back into ambiguity. Call me when, and if, you need me. Anytime. I am not busy.

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Post ID: @fucq+14RsoQlP

I thought I would chime in about TwoJets magnificent idea. I would have commented earlier but I have been looking at some Maui brochures and getting ready for a much needed vacation as soon as the beaches open up. And, as all who know me, if it doesn't have sun, and palm trees, and sand, it just doesn't count as a vacation. But anyway, when it was announced that Aviation was no longer able to carry the company and it was up to Power to pull us out of the quicksand, I rushed to my office and did what any competent and accomplished leader would do. I called the $2 million/yr part - time "shadow" boss, John "the Schnoz" R. for any advice and guidance. But before I could place the call, I saw the "spare jet" memo. Whew, what a relief. A money maker. Back to Number 2 and out of the spotlight. Lay low on the down low. Maui here I come! Alert pilot #1 AND #2!

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Post ID: @eqrs+14RsoQlP

Outstanding idea, TwoJets! It shows you imagined it forward. It takes courage, creativity, and the power of change to have ingenuity of such a caliber of yours. Put me down for two! And leave a copy of your book in the first class area when it is published. An "honest" view of your tenure as CEO will be greatly appreciated in the business community I'm sure. ;)

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Post ID: @atyp+14RsoQlP

Sorry I'm late to the party, but it's hard to find an internet connected computer here in the land of brimstone and fire. Plus I have been busy dealing with these trumped up charges of greed, cheating on my spouse, treating 10% of former employees like throwaway trash, and being a bratty momma's boy. But I'm not here to talk about that, but rather the demise of my beloved former company and how, with the help of 2Jets, to get it back to its former glory. His idea is what will turn our battered company around.

"A jet in every household" will be our motto. Then once that has been accomplished, a spare jet will be encouraged. I mean, who wants to fly to Maui, break down, and not have another in waiting for the return trip home? No one. Well, I don't have anymore time to spend with all of you, I have to go back and tend to the home fires. A running joke around here. Bye!

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Post ID: @9gec+14RsoQlP

As long as those dead prunes are not the gold star OMLP’s along with good ole budsmen..... right?

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Post ID: @3ykw+14RsoQlP

Hi "little girls". Productivity equals the same output with less employees or more output with the same number of employees. The second option isn't viable given that the order file is cratering. Bring on the 6S/Lean magic and start cutting heads. Same thing as pruning the "dead wood" off a tree so that it might survive.

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Post ID: @3ndp+14RsoQlP

Omgosh ! Thank you .... the comments are spot on sarcasm ... love it! Exactly!

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Post ID: @1kpv+14RsoQlP

Thanks 2jets for the logical, reasonable solution to the problem. Good to know the team can count on you coming to the rescue in our time of need. The US unemployment rate of 14.7% is nothing compared to the 25% unemployment of the former crown jewel of our business. We are saved.

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Post ID: @ijt+14RsoQlP

Not to put myself out of a job, but consider using Predix to automate flying those planes with artificial intelligence. You could easily use the Brilliant factory network to get started with a fast works project approach. The company could save tons of $$ for new initiatives that matter most, like building management empires to sell services where there's ZERO demand. Heck, even use the leftover $$$ to enhance Crotonville's leadership training, indoctrinating more top talent for becoming immortal "gods" of the "success theater" business world.

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Post ID: @uzv+14RsoQlP

Your brilliance never ceases to amaze me, 2jets! That is why you were CEO for so long. I can't wait for your new book to come out. We need you now as The Chief Job Czar to get the country back to work.

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Post ID: @nnf+14RsoQlP

Don't forget to use the excess cash for stock buybacks to prop up the stock price so I can cash in my stock options. ;) Let the peasants eat cake.

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Post ID: @zlq+14RsoQlP

Brilliant!

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Post ID: @duv+14RsoQlP

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