Thread regarding Intel Corp. layoffs

VSP, take it or you will be gone [Part II]

This is the continuation of the original thread: https://www.thelayoff.com/t/HkHa1kd

Here is very good advice how to protect your job in INTEL, and how to stay on very safe side while others are getting booted out:

(1) At the beginning of the Y2017, take all HR mandatory courses for that year: CoC, FCC Consent Decree and other useless crap. January 2nd, 2017, is the perfect date for this.

(2) Take all the HVPIP , HVI, HIV, protecting INTEL assets, INTEL managers' asses and other crap courses ASAP (till end of January 2017).

(3) Make AGAIN your revisited MBA career plan for next 5Y (in advance). FLM love these extras.

(4) Do NOT forget quarterly IMBOs. This chapter is VERY important for your formal existence checks for Y2017.

(5) Every once a while you need to show loyalty to your FLM (at least once per month, and at least once per 6 months to your SLM). So, do not forget to book your SLM 1:1 in advance, and prepare carefully politically chosen agenda (who from your peers talks trash against management, who is not team player, who does not obey INTEL policies). Loyalty IS important. This will keep you in bay for some time. Management will admire and appreciate you for that!

(6) Networking. This is extreme important phase in INTEL culture. Please, attend (on INTEL expenses) all possible CESs, exhibitions all over the world, Las Vegas IT shows... You must network, and smile to INTEL executive management. Another extras to your very successful career.

(7) Meetings. You have 40 hours per week, please, be sure that you book and attend weekly at least 50 hours of meetings. Would be nice if you take meeting minutes and make out of it nice excel spreadsheet. Valuable IT asset! This will show that you are really hard worker, working on priority tasks overtime.

(8) On all eventual project failures, blame fearlessly ISP members and VSP takers (they are anyway gone, they will not oppose your opinion, dead bodies do not talk), and don't forget to support INTEL management in each and every occasion, giving them caring and emotional support in these difficult times.

(9) Linkedin. Have 1000s of INTEL employees as connections (does not matter that you do not know them - networking, they'll accept your invitations anyway). Do not forget to like all INTEL announcements and projects (such as drones, smart phones and such). Additional bust to your visibility!

And this is the fast path, how to promote yourself every year to EE and O performances, and every 3 years to higher grade!

Thank you for understanding.

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| 4101 views | | 5 replies (last May 10, 2016) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+HkOMxVo

5 replies (most recent on top)

Also Try to program your 'to be sent' emails for 2 am / 3 am despatch. You will be considered a real hard worker.

Send the same Super- long monthlies for several months. Just change the first 2-3 lines. Rest assured your managers do not have time to read. CC FML, SLM, TLM and their brothers/ sisters / uncles / aunts & their 'significant others' - this is the days of 'extended networking' !!

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Post ID: @gdg+HkOMxVo

So funny that people are so confused about whether to take VSP. This question has come up many times in this blog over the last two weeks. The VSP is your ticket to exit the clutches of the garbage scow named Intel. You will be better off. If you stay, you will not get a better package and will be targeted for ISP in the next round.

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Post ID: @lsu+HkOMxVo

Working for a company for 15-20-25 years is an incredible privilege and very uncommon out in the real world. There is so much angst out there regarding layoffs of people that have spent an entire career at the company. Layoffs are common place. But these people that have many years under their belts our extremely fortunate to have had that opportunity. This sense of entitlement is pretty disgusting. Join the rest of the real world, and the thousands of unemployed professionals, and start marketing yourself for your next gig. There is no security in employment, and so many out here would have given anything to work for the same company that long

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Post ID: @bel+HkOMxVo

Make sure you swallow it all and don't miss a drop or you will be labeled a "low performer".

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Post ID: @iny+HkOMxVo

OP is a Malaysian, thats for sure.

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Post ID: @clz+HkOMxVo

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