20 yrs. ago: CEO: Engineers Smith and Jones, just why do you think it’s a good idea to have two separate groups working on the same project? Explain your rationale to me, because I'm just not getting it. Engineer SMITH: I should be leading this project because it was my idea and I've got a two week head start on Jones. Engineer JONES: I want to lead this project too, but, perhaps maybe I could combine resources and work together with Engineer Smith on this - I'd be willing to co-lead with Smith and I have some talent on my team that he needs. CEO: Deal! Let’s do it.
10 yrs. ago: CEO: Engineer Smith, Just why do think it’s a good idea to have a project with only two female engineers on it, why are you discriminating against women engineers? Engineer SMITH: Well, I really had to scramble to find those 2 women engineers, I'd hire more if could find them. CEO: Have you checked HR? I hear they have lots of women over there - you could train them to be engineers. Engineer SMITH: that would take longer and we'd miss our goal. CEO: Don’t worry about that we'll just re-org in a few months and no one will notice. Engineer SMITH: And then we could fast track the HR/engineer trainees into management? CEO: That’s a great idea! Too bad you're a white male Smith, otherwise I'd fast track you into management.
1 year ago: CEO: Former HR clerk now principal engineer GUPTA, where are my TPS reports? They were due last month. Former HR clerk now principal engineer GUPTA: What? I did not get your emails, voice mails and/or txt messages, let me get Engineer Smith working on it. CEO: engineer Smith was let go 3 months ago, the guy was working 80 hrs a week; we tried to help him by cutting his budget and re-orging his staff, and giving him daily project guidance and diversity training but he kept missing his deadlines so we gave him SSL4 to motivate him and finally HR had to walk him out the door after giving him 5 minutes to clear his desk, so it was dignified. Former HR clerk now principal engineer GUPTA: Ok, let me find someone on my team who answers their email and I'll get back to you. CEO: former HR clerk now principal engineer Gupta, thanks for all your hard work on this. Be sure to hit Reply All on all your mail messages and I'll see you are placed on a fast track for executive promotion. Let’s break for lunch and get some curry.
Current yr: CEO: Someone check with former HR clerk now chief financial officer Gupta and find out what we need to do next, should we acquire more companies and increase our headcount or just fire people or do both? I'm stumped. Former HR clerk now chief financial officer GUPTA: Let me check with legal first. CEO: Thanks for responding to my email I'll put you in for an SRA. And find out where we are on our diversity hiring quotas, oops, I mean goals, not quota's, goals. HR clerk now chief financial officer GUPTA: I hear we are low on transgender engineer hiring. CEO: WHOA! What am I paying you weenies for? The wheels are coming off the wagon! Get moving on those trans-genders. Former HR clerk now chief financial officer GUPTA: I just heard from legal, they say to release the flying monkeys. CEO: excellent! Now let’s talk about executive compensation, what in this for me?